Kiss To Build A Dream On
by MaryRussellgrl
Summary: Grissom comes back and Sara can't resist him. Divorce and a new future do not stop them.
1. Chapter 1

B.D. Russell was working quietly at his computer during a shift when Greg walked in closing the door looking at the older man.

"Russell, you need to talk to Sara."

"Why?" He asked, looking up at Greg.

"She is very mad."

"What about?" He asked, looking at his computer.

"Something about Hodges botching her results."

Russell rubbed his head as Greg waited.

"I'll talk to her. Do you know what time Grissom will be here?" He asked

"Catherine said a few hours." Greg said, walking over.

"What's he like?"

"Great." Greg said "Do you think he will come back to work?"

"Maybe."

Russell stood walking with Greg to the door in search of Hodges and I. I sighed walking in the hallway seeing Russell walking over alone. He stopped in front of me.

"You look mad."

"Hodges messed up the results."

I handed him the paper letting him look.

"I will have him work on this again."

"Thank you." I said

"Are you happy that Grissom is coming back?"

"Not really." I said "We divorced a month ago."

"I know, but maybe this is a time to forgive." He said

I sighed looking at him.

"I'll go deal with Hodges." He said, leaving.

A few hours later I heard that Grissom was in fact in the building. I tried to concentrate on my work, but my curiosity got the better of me. I walked out into the hallway looking around for him. Russell's office door was closed and I could hear voices. I knocked gently hearing the voices stop then someone said come in. I opened the door stopping when I saw Grissom. He stood from his chair looking at me.

"Sara, I am glad you stopped in." Russell said

"Hello Sara." Grissom said

"Hello." I said, still staring at him.

"Gil, do you want to take a walk?" Russell asked, standing.

"Ah…yes." Grissom said "Can you give us a moment?"

"Of course." Russell said, walking out of the room. The door shut and we just stood silently looking at each other.

"So, how are you?" I asked

"Great, you?"

"Great."

He nodded. I swallowed feeling awkward. He never moved as I cleared my throat.

"Are you coming back?"

He nodded.

"Good." I said

"Ecklie offered me his old position."

I nodded looking down.

"Sara."

I looked at him.

"You do look great."

"Thanks."

My eyes went to his lips. I tried to stop looking at them, but every time I looked at him my eyes centered on his lips.

He looked at his watch as I fidgeted.

"I should walk with Russell."

"Right." I said, moving out of the way.

He slowly walked past leaving. I sighed watching the door close.

At the end of the shift I walked out of the building seeing Grissom standing at the curb talking to Catherine. I walked by hearing him telling her about a dig he was on. He glanced over seeing me then talked again. I started to unlock my car door when he appeared walking over.

"Hey." He said

"Hey." I said, facing him.

"Going home?"

"Yes."

"Want to eat somewhere?"

"Ah….wouldn't that be awkward?"

"No, we are still friends, right?"

"I suppose."

"You can ride with me." He said

I walked with him to his car getting in. He got in looking at me.

"So, is the diner up the street okay?" he asked

I looked at him.

"Yes."

My eyes went to his lips again. I quickly looked away as he started the engine. We arrived at the diner and walked in sitting in a booth. After ordering we sat in silence. I looked outside as he sipped some hot coffee from a white mug looking at me.

"How do you like, Russell?" He asked

"I like him." I said, looking outside still.

He looked outside then at me again.

"I missed you."

I looked at him as he looked at me.

"I didn't realize how much until I saw you in Russell's office."

"Usually divorce has the opposite reaction." I said

He watched me as I looked back outside. We ate then he walked me outside. I watched him look around putting on his sunglasses. He looked at me.

"I'll drive you back." He said

We go back in the car and he drove me back parking beside my car.

"I will be going back to Paris to pack and I will be back in a week." He said

I nodded looking out the window. I looked over at him seeing he was staring at me.

"Okay."

"Will you miss me?"

I opened my mouth then closed it. His eyebrows went up as a little smile appeared on his lips. I looked at his lips again this time not hiding it. I moved over quickly pulling him over kissing him. He quickly caught on kissing me back. I tilted my head slowly moving my lips over his. His hand went to my head as I clutched his coat. He moaned as I deepened the kiss.

I did not want it to end. I could feel him try to move away, but every time I drew him in. He moaned again moving back opening his eyes looking at me. I looked at him searching his eyes. His hand went to my cheek.

"What…did you say?" I asked

"I asked you if you would miss me."

"Oh." I said, looking at his lips again.

"Sara?"

"Hmm?" I said

"Look at me."

I moved my eyes to his.

"What?" I asked

He pushed back my hair.

"You need to sleep."

"Why don't you come over?"

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"Honey, I need to think about this."

I took a breath nodding. He leaned over kissing me gently then he watched me go. I went home reliving the kiss over and over. I needed him.

Two weeks later Grissom had returned to take over Ecklie's job. I was happy to have him near again. He had meetings his first week and I rarely saw him.

The week after I had a fall and laid in a houses back yard. When I woke Russell was leaning over me calling my name. I was checked out and then we went back to the lab. I went to the ladies room looking at the bandage on my head.

At break I was taking some aspirin in the breakroom with coffee when Grissom walked in. He walked over looking at my bandage.

"Russell told me what happened are you okay?"

"Yeah." I said

He sighed looking me over.

"Do you have time to talk?" I asked

"Is this personal or work related?"

"Um…..personal."

He looked at his watch then he nodded. I followed him to this office shutting the door behind me as he leaned on his desk.

"What's up?"

"Grissom, I wanted to….talk about what happened that day we went to the diner."

"What about it?"

I stepped closer to him.

"Do you have any feelings about it?"

"Yes." He said

"Okay, so you don't think it was a mistake?"

"Sara."

"Look, I know we are divorced, but I felt something when you kissed me. I thought we could start over."

His hands went to my arms.

"I do feel something for you. I always have, but I don't think it's the same thing."

I felt my insides twist.

"You deserve happiness. Not with someone obsessed with work."

I touched his cheek with my hand as I searched his eyes.

"I want you."

"Sara, I can't hurt you again."

A tear went down my cheek. He hugged me to him as I felt my heart drop. I walked out feeling empty and numb. As the weeks went by I felt my heart go into despair. My appetite dwindled and my sleep was nonexistent.

I walked to trace on another lousy day seeing Rogers at his desk typing away. I walked in as he turned in his chair.

"Hey, what's up?" He asked

"I need you to run this." I said, handing him some samples. He took them then he looked at me.

"You got it."

I sighed looking around.

"You look beat." He said, walking to a machine on a table.

"Yeah, I am."

"I have a solution." He said

"What? Is this one of your disgusting protein drinks?" I asked

"No, this is better." He said, taking a pill bottle out of his pocket. I took them looking at the label.

"Do you know how illegal these are?!" I asked, looking at him stunned.

"They work! A week ago I was feeling blah. Those babies made me feel good and now I am back to normal." He said, sitting down. "Trust me."

I sighed looking at him then at the pills.

"I don't know." I said

"Do you want to feel better?"

"Yes."

"Take them!"

"Thanks."

He gave me a thumbs up sign then went back to work.

Russell walked over to me as I stood outside trace looking at some results. He touched my arm moving his hand up and down looking at me worried.

"Sara, I am worried about you."

"I'm fine." I said

"When did you last eat?"

"I…ate an apple."

"What day?"

"At break." I said "I appreciate your concern, but I am fine."

He watched me walk slowly down the hallway. I went to the locker room looking around then I opened my locker seeing a bottle of pills I had gotten a day ago, but not taken. Opening the bottle I took out a blue pill looking at it. I took one then went back to work. Within ten minutes I could not stop giggling. Everything I looked at was funny.

Grissom walked into the lab I was in later seeing I was working looking at a blanket laying on the table smiling. He knocked seeing me look over at him then down.

"Hey?"

"Hey?" I said, writing on a form putting a hand to my mouth to cover up the giggling.

"How are you doing?"

"Great!" I said, leaning over the blanket.

"Russell is worried about you." He said, watching me.

"I'm fine." I said, tapping my pen on the table. Grissom looked at the pen then at me.

"Did you eat anything yet?"

"Yes, I ate." I said, laughing.

I looked at him seeing his serious face and it made me laugh more.

"What?"

"You with your serious face. I am Grissom and I am serious." I said, laughing more. "I just never noticed how funny you look."

He didn't say anything as he observed me.

"You don't have to worry, because I am good."

"I don't think you are."

I shook my head looking back at him. He walked out leaving me alone. After shift I ran outside feeling my heart pumping. Warrick came out seeing me standing at the curb trying to find my keys.

"Hey, want to go out with the boys?" He asked

I smiled at him nodding.

"Where are we going?!"

"The strip." He said

Grissom walked outside seeing Warrick and I walking past him.

"Gris, you want to come with us?"

I looked at Grissom as he looked at me then at Warrick.

"Where are you going?"

"The strip!" I said

"Bars?" He asked

"Yeah, I thought we could all use some fun." Warrick said

Grissom looked at me again. He noted my nervous fidgeting and a slight shaking.

"All right."

"Great!" Warrick said

We all got into cars driving to the strip. It wasn't long till I was dancing on the floor. Grissom watched me wildly dancing by myself as the others drank at the bar. He sat at a table as Catherine and Russell appeared.

"Hey." Catherine said, taking a seat. "Where is everyone?"

"The bar….Sara is dancing."

They all looked over seeing me. I ran over to the table laughing.

"Hey, care to dance?!" I asked

"No thanks." Catherine said

I shrugged seeing Nick walk over with a drink. I took it taking a drink.

"Mmmm." I said

"I can get you one." He said

"Okay." I said, laughing.

He smiled at me walking back to the bar.

"Sara, I think you had enough." Grissom said

"Oh Grissom, you are such a boy scout!" I said, running off.

Grissom sighed looking at the two people sitting beside him.

"You better take her home." Catherine said

"Yes." Grissom said, getting up. He walked over to the bar seeing me drinking as Nick talked to me. "Sara, it's time to leave."

"Okay." I said, letting him take my hand leading me out. I waved at people as he pulled me along. We got into his car and I laughed looking at him.

"What's funny?" He asked

"You're so cute." I said

He started the engine as I wiggled in the car seat getting out the bottle of pills.

"Sara, what are those?"

"My pills." I said, opening them taking out two.

"Let me see." He said, reaching over.

"No, their mine." I said, moving away.

"Where did you get them?" He asked

"I got them…." I said

"Where?"

I smiled at him as he looked at me seriously.

"Grumpy Grissom." I said, frowning.

"Sara, give them to me." He said, holding out his hand.

"Why?" I said, laughing.

"Give them to me now."

"No."

"Sara."

I looked at him then at the pills in my hand. I laughed at him putting the pills back in the bottle then I leaned over looking at him.

"I will give them to you if you kiss me."

He sighed looking at me.

"Sara, I am not playing this game."

"Then you can't have them."

He sighed thinking about it.

"If I kiss you then you will give the bottle to me?"

I nodded giggling.

"All right." He said

I quickly moved closer closing my eyes waiting. He leaned over kissing me. I moaned as he slowly kissed me. I moved back looking at his lips.

"You're a good kisser."

"Thank you, now give me the bottle."

"I want another kiss."

"No, bottle."

I took a breath looking at him.

"Sara."

"Grissom, do you love me?" I asked

"Yes."

"I'm tired." I said, laying my head down on the arm rest in the between Grissom and I. Grissom touched my head and I sat up again looking around. "Where are we?"

"I am taking you home." He said

I looked at him as he drove. He parked outside his place looking over at me. I slept with my head to the side still clutching the pill bottle in my right hand. Grissom got out opening my door reaching over taking the bottle out of my hand. He took it looking at the label.

"Where did you get these?" He asked, out loud.

He carried me to his apartment door then once inside he laid me on his bed.

I woke hour's later feeling someone touching my head. I moaned moving away from the cool hand then I slowly opened my eyes not recognizing the room. Grissom watched me move looking at him in the dim light.

"Hey." He said, gently.

"Where am I?" I asked, gently.

"My place."

I closed my eyes feeling his hand caress my cheek.

"How long have I been here?"

"Two days."

I sat up in shock.

"Two days?!"

He nodded watching me. I put my hand on my head.

"I can't…believe this!" I said

"You were exhausted." He said

"I have to get to work."

"I called in telling Russell you were sick. I imagine you're hungry." He said

"I should get home."

"I'll get you some food then I can drive you." He said, before standing and leaving the room. I sat on the bed thinking reaching into my pocket not finding my pill bottle. I looked everywhere not seeing it. Grissom set some salad on a plate on the island when I came in.

"Here you go." He said

"I lost something." I said

"What?"

"A pill bottle of vitamins."

"Sit down."

I sat down picking up a fork to eat with.

"I have the bottle and I don't know why you have those, but they are certainly not vitamins." He said

"You have them?" I asked

"Yes, and I am keeping them."

I rubbed my head looking at the untouched salad.

"Grissom, you don't understand. I need them."

"They are illegal." He said

"I need them!" I said

"No!"

"Fine, I'll just go and get more!" I said, getting up walking out to the front door. Grissom walked past me to block the front door.

"Sara, I am really worried about you."

I backed up looking at him as if he had lost his mind.

"Worried, about me?"

"Yes." He said "Honey, you are not taking care of yourself and then I find you are taking pills."

"I'm fine." I said "I only took one."

He walked over touching my cheek with his fingers.

"You are not fine." He said "Do you know what these pills can do to you?"

"Look, it's not a big deal."

"Who gave them to you?"

"I don't know."

"Yes, you do. Is it someone at the lab?"

"No!"

"Who at the lab gave you the pills?" He asked, seriously.

I moved back shaking my head.

"We can do this different ways. You can be suspended without pay, or I will open an investigation."

"Grissom!"

"Tell me!"

I rubbed my head looking to the side.

"I am waiting."

"I got them from Rogers."

"Rogers?"

"He's new. He works in Trace." I said

"Thank you." He said

"Grissom?"

"Yes?" He said

I walked over searching his eyes.

"You do love me." I said "Don't you?"

"I will always love you, Sara."

I took a breath. His hand came to my cheek.

"I see the pain in your eyes."

His thumb went over my lips.

Just then his phone went off making us jump. I blinked moving back as he got it. He answered looking at me. I looked down hearing him talk then hang up. He stepped over holding me. I closed my eyes feeling his warm breath on my neck.

"Sara?"

I didn't answer as he sighed against me. His lips touched my skin.

"Sara." He said, gently.

I remember nothing after that. When I woke I was on his couch. He moved beside me then stilled as I moved. I looked at him in surprise. He had his hand on my stomach. I moved to my side away from him feeling him move. Pretending to sleep I felt his arm come around me. He yawned moving to sit up.

I could feel his eyes. He rubbed my arm gently then a little harder. I moved to lie on my back opening my eyes seeing him.

"You okay?" He asked

"Yes." I said

"You past out last night."

"I did."

"Yes."

I touched his arm trying to pull him to me. He leaned down kissing me then he looked at me.

"I am sorry."

"Why are you sorry?"

"For everything." He said "I was wrong to brush you aside. I want us to be together. I want to take care of you."

"I want that to." I said

"Can we start over?"

"Yes." I said

He smiled some leaning down kissing me again.

After that we were together. He moved into the house.

He came out of his office seeing me walking by with a file in my hand. I didn't even notice him as I looked at the file.

"Hey!" He said

I stopped looking at him.

"Hey."

"How are you?" He asked

"Good, are you going to a meeting?"

"In twenty minutes."

I nodded.

"Interrogation?" He asked

"Yeah."

He nodded watching me sigh, then walk past.

I went into the room with Brass and the suspect. Things got heated and then physical. Brass pulled me outside as I yelled at the man in the room as he was restrained by two cops.

"Stop this!" Brass shouted, pushing me away. "Go take a break!"

I stood heaving as he motioned for his men to get the guy out. I quickly walked off going outside breathing in and out fast. I leaned my head against the building closing my eyes. Brass came out seeing me.

"Sara, you need to stop pushing the limits."

"He was wrong!" I said

"You almost were seriously hurt!"

"The chair never touched me!"

"Next time it could be different. I am just looking out for you."

"Thank you."

He sighed looking down.

"What now?"

"He's not going to talk to you now."

"Fine, let him talk to someone else."

He looked at me as paced. Grissom saw me walking to his office as he was coming the other way.

"Hello dear." He said

"Let me in." I said

He watched me fidget as he got his keys out opening his door. I went inside as he followed closing the door. I sighed touching my head before walking up to him crushing him to the door kissing him. He put his hand to my waist holding files in the other. I heated it up breathing fast. He pushed me back.

"Sara, where do you think we are?"

"I don't…care." I said, kissing him again. He pushed me back again.

"Tell me what is going on?"

"Nothing, except I am kissing you." I said, trying to kiss him again. He pushed me back.

"We can't do this here."

I sighed looking to the side.

"Now, tell me what is wrong." He asked, making me look at him.

"Nothing." I said, moving past him to the door. He held the door knob looking at me.

"Something is."

I looked down at his hand saying nothing.

"Honey, tell me."

"I had a fight with a suspect."

"When?"

"Half an hour ago."

"We talked about this."

"I know." I said, looking at him.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes."

He nodded searching my eyes.

"Don't do it again." He said, opening the door. I went out hearing him shut the door. As I came out Rogers ran over to me.

"You told on me?"

I opened my mouth to speak only to be stopped.

"How could you tell someone about this?" He said

"Those pills are illegal!"

"Yeah, and you told everyone!"

Grissom opened his door seeing us.

"Rogers, I want to see you a moment."

He glared at me before walking into the office. I watched the door close then I walked away.

After the shift was done we went home. Grissom sat on the bed reading as I sat on the couch watching a movie. He came out later sitting down beside me.

"The Blob?" He asked

"Yeah." I said

"I thought you hated this movie." He said

"I do, but I like Steve McQueen." I said

He sat back rubbing his head.

"I fired Rogers and he was arrested for having illegal narcotics." He said

I said nothing as he looked at me.

"Headache?" I asked, not looking at him.

"Yes, the start of one."

I looked over at him as he closed his eyes rubbing his head. I stood as he looked up at me.

"Lay down on your stomach." I said

He laid down without a word. I straddled his back hearing him groan.

"Am I to heavy?" I asked

"No."

I smiled as I leaned over rubbing his back and neck.

"Ohh, that feels good." He said

"You work to hard." I said

"I like it." He said

I continued to rub his back stopping when I heard him snore. I sat back sighing looking at him. Putting a blanket over him I walked over turning the TV off then I went to the bedroom. When I woke later he was beside me sleeping. I sat up seeing that it was still dark out. I got up walking out to the living room unable to sleep. I knew if I turned on the TV it would wake Grissom so I went to the kitchen looking in the fridge. In the freezer was a pint of chocolate chip ice cream. I sat on a stool at the island eating as I thought about work and life.

Something was bothering me, but I didn't know what it was. I sighed eating again looking at the room. I came back to bed laying on my back looking up at the ceiling. Grissom moved to his side stilling as he took a deep breath. I looked at him then I moved to my side closing my eyes.

When I woke Grissom was up and dressed talking to someone on his phone. He walked into the bedroom seeing I was sitting up in bed as he went to the closet to get a coat. He hung up putting it on looking over at me.

"You better get ready." He said

I nodded getting out of bed. Grissom touched my arm as I went past.

"Something wrong?" He asked

"No." I said

He nodded watching me go past. We got into the car and Grissom handed me a small box. I looked at him as he started the engine.

"What is this?" I asked

"Open it." He said

I slowly opened it seeing a beautiful diamond ring. I looked at him again in shock.

"Grissom!"

"Do you like it?"

"I…..yes." I said, looking at it.

"Will you marry me….again?"

My mouth came open then I closed it looking at him.

"Yes."

He smiled watching me put the ring on. We drove to work and I sat in the car looking at my ring. Grissom opened the door watching me climb out. He closed it seeing tears come down my cheeks.

"Sara?"

I looked at him sniffing.

"I…I'm so happy." I said

He hugged me feeling me shake.

"I love you." He said

I closed my eyes feeling his lips in my head.

We both went to work going our separate ways. Russell called a meeting at dinner. I sat next to Greg in the conference room eating my salad listening to the others talk. My body was there, but my mind was on Grissom.

We all came out of the room with about five minutes of break left. I walked over to Grissom's door knocking.

"Come in." He called

I opened the door seeing he was at his desk doing paperwork. He smiled at me as I closed the door smiling back.

"I had a few minutes left at break and decided to see you."

"Good." He said, sitting back in his chair watching me. I walked around his desk climbing over his legs facing him as I sat down. "Still like your ring?"

"Yes, still like me?"

"Yes." He said

I touched his coat looking down at it as he looked at me.

"You look sad." He said

"No, I'm fine."

I leaned in kissing him gently moving my arms around his neck. His arms went around my back pulling me closer. I moved my lips from his to his neck. He closed his eyes allowing me access.

Someone knocked on his door making him open his eyes. I continued to kiss his neck.

"Who is it?"

"Catherine." She said

"Just a minute." He said

I leaned back looking at him then I stood walking to the door opening it seeing Catherine.

"Am I intruding?" She asked

"No, I am leaving." I said, waving at him before going.

I walked down the hallway when a door flew open hitting me and I fell to the ground.

"Sara, I am so sorry!" Hodges said, kneeling down. "Sara?"

I laid still with my head to the side. Hodges felt my pulse in my neck hearing voices. He looked over seeing Nick and Russell walking down the hallway. Quickly he stood panicking. He opened the door he had just opened going in.

Nick and Russell talked coming nearer as Hodges came out looking down seeing me.

"Sara?!" He said "What happened?!"

Russell walked over with Nick looking concerned.

"What happened?" Russell asked, kneeling down.

"I don't know." Hodges said

"Looks like she was hit with something." Nick said

Russell moved my head looking at the bruise starting.

"Call for an ambulance." He said

"You got it!" Nick said, getting out his cell phone.

Hodges looked at Russell as the older man touched my wrist checking my pulse.

"Hodges, go tell Grissom."

"Okay."

Russell touched my head looking at the bruise. Grissom walked over quickly with Hodges following.

"What happened?!" He asked, kneeling down on the other side.

"She must have been hit by the door." Russell said "Did you see who did it?"

"Me? No." Hodges said

Grissom took out his maglite shining it down on my face as he pried open my left eye.

"Her eyes are responsive." He said, as he check the other. "Did you call for an ambulance?"

"Yes, I had Nick do it."

Grissom looked at the bruise as Russell looked up at Hodges.

"Go ahead and get back to work."

"Okay." Hodges said, walking slowly away.

"I called, they might be awhile. There is a big accident on the strip." Nick said

Grissom touched my cheek watching for any sign that I might wake up.

"Nick go to the breakroom and get some ice in a bag." Russell said

Nick ran off as Russell looked at me. Nick came back with a plastic bag with ice. Grissom tool it lifting my head placing it on the back of my neck.

I moved my head a little feeling pain.

"Mmmm." I moaned, winching.

"She's waking." Someone said

"Sara?" Grissom called "Open your eyes."

I swallowed winching again as something cold went to my head.

"Mmmm."

"Stay with us, Sara." Russell said

I slowly opened my eyes seeing very blurry shapes. Grissom moved the bag looking at me.

"Can you talk?" He asked "Can you hear me?"

I blinked looking at the one blurry shape while the other talked to me.

"Sara, can you hear me?" Grissom asked

I continued to look at Russell.

"Can you talk?" Russell asked

"Where…am I?" I asked

Russell looked at Grissom then he replied.

"You're at the lab lying on the floor. You had an accident."

I winched closing my eyes then opening them looking over at the other shape.

"Sara, can you tell me where you are?" Grissom asked

"The lab."

"What day is it?" He asked, shining a light at me. I closed my eyes moving my head to avoid it. "Come on, what day is it?"

"I don't know!" I cried

The light went away and I blinked looking at them.

"I think she has a concussion." Grissom said

"Can we move her?" Russell asked

Grissom touched my neck.

"Sara, are you in any pain?" He asked

"Just….my head."

"Let's move her to your office couch." Grissom said

Russell and Grissom help me up then without warning I was picked up and taken down the hallway. I was laid on something comfortable then left alone. I drifted in and out hearing voices. Strange faces appeared then went. Voices called out to me. I drifted away to silence.

Later, I woke looking around the room confused. The door opened and Grissom came in holding a Styrofoam cup of coffee. He set it down on a table beside the bed to sit down looking at me.

"Welcome back." He said

"Where am I?"

"Hospital."

I looked at him confused.

"Was I hurt?"

"You had a concussion." He said

"How long have I been here?"

"A few days."

I tried to sit up only to have him push me down.

"Stay down." He said

"You said a few days?"

"Yes."

"Sara, do you remember what happened to cause this?" He asked, pointing to my head.

"I don't remember anything."

He nodded rubbing my fingers.

"The doctor said that is normal."

He reached over taking the cup of coffee drinking it then he put it back looking at me.

"How is your head?"

"I can't feel anything."

He nodded caressing my hand.

"When can I leave?"

"I'll ask the doctor when he comes."

I went back to sleep shortly after. I opened my eyes seeing it was raining. I closed my eyes again drifting hearing the door open. Someone walked over checking my IV. The door opened again.

"How is she?" Grissom asked, in a quiet voice.

"She's doing fine. I am just checking her IV." The nurse said

Grissom nodded looking at me.

"Sleep is the best thing for her." The woman said

"When will the doctor be in?"

"He'll check on her in an hour."

Grissom watched her leave then he looked at me leaning over kissing me gently.

"Gris?" I called

"Yes, it's me." He said

I moved my head taking a breath not opening my eyes.

"Where is my ring?"

He looked at my hand lying on the side.

"You took it off."

I opened my eyes seeing him.

"Why would I do that?"

"We can talk about that later."

I blinked closing them.

"Okay."

"Okay." He said, moving back. I woke to see him looking at his phone at the window. He looked out sighing as he thought about things.

"I heard you sigh." I said

He walked over to the bed putting his phone away.

"I was thinking about telling you something."

"Will you hold me?"

He nodded climbing on the bed sitting beside me holding me against him.

"What did you want to tell me?"

"I was asked to teach a course in Washington for a month."

I clutched his arm tighter.

"I know you're upset."

"I just got you back."

"Honey, I didn't say yes."

"You want to, don't you?"

"That's not the point. I don't want to leave knowing your upset."

I stayed silent a few minutes as he did listening to the rain.

"I don't want you to go." I said

"Then I won't."

I moved looking at him.

"You have to go."

"You don't want me to go, that is enough." He said, touching my cheek.

"No, you have to." I said "I'll be here when you get back."

He searched my eyes rubbing my cheek with his thumb.

"Let me think about it."

I nodded moving to lean against him again.

We came home two days later and I was allowed back after a week. I walked into the breakroom seeing Hodges getting an apple from the little fridge in the corner. He looked at me as I got some coffee.

"Hi Sara."

I looked at him.

"Hi."

"So, how are you feeling?" He asked

"Good." I said, leaning against the counter.

"That's good." He said

I smiled as I sipped from my cup.

"Um….I need to tell you something." He said

"Okay." I said

He set the apple down on the counter.

"I was the one that….injured you."

"You hurt me?"

"Yes, I panicked and pretended not to know how you got hurt. I am sorry."

"Hodges!"

"I know!" He said

I stared at him with my mouth open as Russell came in seeing us.

"You two look like you are fighting." He said, walking over.

"We're done now." Hodges said, running out the door.

Russell watched him go then he turned to me. I still had my mouth open looking at him in shock.

"What?" He asked

Grissom took me home and I watched him go to the computer at the desk in the living room. He looked at me as he turned it on.

"Tired?"

"A little." I said, turning to go into the kitchen. He typed a moment later as I ate some ice cream with a big spoon. He came in smiling as I ate more.

"Good?"

"Mmmhmm." I said

I leaned back against the counter looking over at him. He got a bottled water from the fridge.

"So did you decide?"

"Yes." He said, before taking a drink.

"What are you going to do?"

"I am going."

I nodded a little disappointed.

"Good." I said

He put his bottle down on the counter then he walked over kissing me. I moved back as he looked at me.

"I guess we should get married before I leave."

"It can wait." I said

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

He nodded letting me go grabbing his water and walking out. I sighed eating more ice cream. On his last night in town a week later he and I both had the night off. I laid beside him in bed sleeping as he stared at the ceiling. His fingers moved in circles over my bare back. He kissed my head making me move closer to him putting my arm over his uncovered chest.

"Mmm." I moaned

"You awake?" he said

When I didn't answer he kissed my head again then looked back at the ceiling. I moved my head breathing in and out gently as he looked at me.

"Did you say something?" I asked, keeping my eyes closed.

"I asked if you were awake."

"No." I said, laying my head back down on his chest.

"Will you be all right here?"

"Yes."

"I want you to call me if anything happens."

"I will." I said

I let my fingers move over his smooth chest.

"Even if you have a bad day."

I kissed his skin moving up to his lips. He kissed me slowly moving to his side putting his arms around me. I pulled him closer allowing him access to my neck.

The next day I was dressed for work watching him carry his suit case to the front door. He looked at me.

"This is it!"

"I know." I said, walking over hugging him. "I'll miss you."

"I will to, and when I come back we will get married."

"Okay."

He kissed me and then let me go. I walked with him to his car. He put his suitcase in the trunk then he walked to his driver's side door looking at me.

"See you in a month."

I nodded giving him a little smile. He got in the car starting it then driving off. I sadly watched him disappear missing him already.

The days crawled as it was slow. I started to experience strange symptoms. I went to the doctors hearing them confirm that I was pregnant. I went back to work in shock. I knew I had to tell Grissom about this, but I didn't know how to since neither of us ever wanted to be parents. One the third day I sat at the computer thinking. Pushing the skype icon I waited for it to connect. His face popped up in his hotel room wearing a gray tee shirt looking like he just woke.

"Hello." I said

"Hey."

"Did I wake you?" I asked

"I needed to be up." He said, rubbing his face.

I smiled at him as he put his hand through his messed hair.

"How was shift?" He asked

"Busy." I said "I….um."

He watched me look down biting my lip.

"Sara, what's wrong?"

"I went to the doctor's."

"Why didn't you call me?" He asked, annoyed.

"I didn't know how to tell you."

He froze waiting.

"I was told that I am pregnant."

He just looked at me. My heart pounded in my chest.

"You're…..pregnant?"

"Yes."

He made a sound shaking his head.

"No."

"Yes."

"I….don't know what to say."

"Me either."

"To be a….father at my age….it's…..a shock."

"I know you don't want to be a father."

He looked at me.

"No, I didn't."

"What should we do?"

He sighed rubbing his chin.

"We have a baby."

"What?" I asked

"Sara, it's happened. There are options, but at the end of the day that is your decision. Yes, this was not in the plan, but now it's here."

"Then…..you're okay with this?"

"Yes." He said

I took a breath relieved.

"I want to have the baby."

"Then I do to."

I went to bed feeling better.

The next week I felt sick and dizzy. In the fourth week I wanted things I never had before. Grissom was coming home a week early and I spent a good part of my time busy with cases. One my one night off he was coming home. I laid down sleeping a while then I heard the door close.

"Sara?" He called, setting his case down. I didn't give him warning as I crushed him to the door kissing him.

He kissed me feeling the intensity. He moved back breathing slightly fast as I looked at him.

"Your late." I said

"The plane had to circle the airport a few times."

I undid his belt of his pants yanking him to the living room couch. He fell onto it watching me straddle him pushing his pants open.

"Sara, wait!" He said

I leaned down kissing his neck.

"Honey, I am very tired."

"Your….not to tired….for this." I said

"I am."

I sat up looking at him. I moved standing looking at him.

"I'm sorry." He said

"Whatever!" I said, going to the bedroom slamming the door.

He sat up looking at the door. The next day I came out dressed for work seeing him dressed also standing in the living room drinking coffee from a mug. I walked past him getting some water. He followed me to the kitchen watching as I poured some bottled water in a glass then I rubbed my head.

He put his mug down touching my back.

"I'm sorry." I said

"It's okay." He said

I turned hugging him.

"How's the baby?"

"Fine." I said, against his shoulder.

"How are you?"

"Better now."

"Me to."

He moved back touching my cheek.

"We can have that homecoming later."

"No, that's okay."

"I want to."

I looked at him then I nodded.

We went to work not talking anymore about what happened. At break I ate a sandwich craving pickles. I walked to the diner up the street bringing back a dill pickle wrapped in plastic wrap. Nick saw me walk into the breakroom with this large dill pickle. I glared at him as I ate it walking by him.

"How can you eat that?" He asked

"I like it." I said

He grimaced shaking his head. Grissom came in getting some coffee seeing us.

"Grissom, do you like pickles?"

He turned looking at Nick.

"I do."

"I've never seen you eat one." I said

"I don't eat them. I use them for experiments." He said

I shook my head chewing. He sipped his coffee then walked out. I watched him go then I looked at Nick.

Grissom laid beside me on the couch watching the news. He rested his head on his hand glued to the screen. When a commercial came on he looked at me sleeping on my back against him. His eyes went down to my stomach. He could see that I was beginning to show. His hand moved resting gently over it.

I moved my head opening my eyes looking up at him.

"Do we have any pickles?" I asked

"Yes."

I slowly got up going to the kitchen. He turned off the TV walking to the kitchen seeing I had the new large jar out on the counter that I stood next to eating.

"Honey, if you keep eating pickles you'll have heartburn." He said, as he sat on a stool holding up his head with his hand.

"I'll be fine." I said

"The baby won't."

"This baby will be tough." I said

He smiled a little watching me.

As the months went by my stomach grew. I ran into Russell's office shutting the door as he looked over from his desk. I held the door hearing Greg pounding on the other side.

"Russell, before Greg comes in I just need to tell you I am not responsible."

He gave me a confused look then I opened the door allowing Greg in. He walked in glaring at me before seeing Russell.

"Sara ate my dinner!"

Russell looked at me then at Greg.

"Guys, I am very busy right now."

"You have to do something about her!"

"What would you suggest?" Russell asked

"Ban her from the breakroom."

"He can't do that." I said

"Do something then!" He said, leaving in a huff.

I watched him go then I looked at Russell.

"Sara, you need to work this out. I am not here to babysit."

"I know." I said, leaving.

Grissom walked into the lab that Greg and I worked in opposite sides of the room. Greg looked at him as he closed the door.

"I am here to talk to you about this eating someone else's dinner business." He said, looking at us.

"Are you going to do something?" Greg asked

"Sara, did you eat his dinner?"

I looked at Grissom.

"I ate a sandwich."

"That was mine!" Greg said

"Was it Greg's?"

"I don't know."

"It was in a brown bag." Greg said

"Was the sandwich you ate in a brown bag?" Grissom asked

I slowly nodded.

"This is what I am going to do. From now on put your name on your bags, Greg. Sara, you are to stop eating everyone else's food. Also, you are not to go in the breakroom until a week ends."

"What?!" I shouted

"Let me finish….there is a smaller breakroom in the corner of the lab on the other side of the building. You will go there for a week. You are to apologize to Greg and I don't want any more trouble."

I sighed looked at him annoyed.

"Sara." He said

I slowly walked over to Greg.

"I'm sorry." I said

"Thank you." Greg said

"Good." Grissom said, before leaving. I went back to my work not looking at Greg.

We got home late and I went straight to the kitchen getting out some cheese and an apple. Grissom went to change then he came out seeing me leaning on the counter in the kitchen touching my stomach.

"You okay?" He asked

"Yeah." I said, taking a breath.

He watched me a moment then I stood straight rubbing my stomach looking at him.

"I felt a sharp pain."

"Indigestion?"

"No, it felt like cramps." I said

He reached over touching my stomach.

"I'm fine now."

"Let's go to bed."

I nodded watching him go.

A few hours later I sat up feeling another pain sharper than the last one. I slowly stood holding onto the bed.

"Owe!" I said, trying to be quiet.

Sinking to the floor I gasped touching my baby bump. I got up stumbling to the bathroom shutting the door locking it. I knelt to the floor feeling sick. Bile rose in my throat and I threw up over and over.

A knock at the door distracted me.

"Sara?"

"What?"

"You okay?"

"I'm fine." I said, winching as I rocked back and forth. "Owe!"

The door knob jiggled then another knock.

"Honey, let me in."

"No!"

I looked down seeing a blood puddle under me.

"I just want to make sure you are okay." He said

"Please go away!" I cried, touching my stomach and floor making my hand blood soaked. I gasped as another pain went through me.

"Sara?"

I crawled over to the door slowly unlocking it then I laid down on the floor. Grissom opened the door looking at the blood all over the floor. I cried looking at him as he knelt down.

"I…lost the baby." I said

He pulled me against him feeling me shake. We came back from the hospital a day later. I slowly walked over to the couch sitting down as Grissom walked in looking at me.

"Do you want anything to eat?" He asked

I shook my head. He sat down beside me pulling me against him. I sniffed feeling my walls break down.

"I love you." He said "We can have another baby."

"No." I said

"I will never push you away."

I clutched his coat tighter.

"I am not disappointed with you. I am proud of you."

"Why?" I asked, sniffing.

"You are the most caring and hard working person I know."

"Just….hold me." I said

He pulled me against him tightly feeling his heart break.


	2. Fire

A month after my devastating miscarriage. I walked into a crime scene house looking around in the dim light. I was solo which I liked. Turning on my flashlight, I already say blood streaks on the walls with hand prints. It got worse as I walked further in finally spotting a woman in a night gown lying on the floor of the kitchen. She laid on her side with the front of her nightgown covered in blood. I winched thinking about how she suffered.

Brass walked in carefully looking at the woman.

"She almost made it to the door." I said

"Almost." He said

I looked at her sadly.

I came back with bags of evidence. I took my break getting some coffee then I walked to my husband's office door. I knocked not hearing a thing. Someone touched my arm and I jumped turning to see him.

"Sorry, what are you doing?" He asked, smiling at me.

"I am on break."

He nodded looking me over.

"Did you just come back?"

"Yes."

He opened his door allowing me inside. I sat in a chair in front of his desk as he sat in his chair behind the desk.

"Evaluations are coming up." He said

"I hate them."

"I know you do." He said "You look tired, Sara."

"No, not really." I said, before drinking from my cup.

"How was the scene?"

"Terrible, a woman in the kitchen was butchered."

"Are you going to be able to do this case?"

"I think so."

He nodded observing me. I rubbed my head then I stood sighing.

"I better go."

He stood walking over.

"When we get home I will give you a massage." He said

"It's your turn."

"I want to."

I shrugged my shoulders.

"Okay."

He smiled then he leaned in kissing me. I moved back going to the door. He opened it touching my arm.

I went to the morgue seeing the woman laid out with a sheet over her body. Dave stood waiting for me with her x-rays lit up on a screen on the wall. I looked at them going over all the injuries listening to him tell me what he found.

Russell walked over as I walked out.

"Bad?" He asked

"Yeah."

"I have nothing else to do right now. I can help you."

"Did Grissom say something?"

"No, I just want to help you."

"Okay."

"Great."

I walked with him to the lab. We went over the evidence. I walked over to Grissom's office after shift looking into his office seeing him on the phone. He looked over at me then talked. I waited patiently watching him hang up.

"Is it time to leave already?" He asked, looking at his watch.

"Yep." I said

"Hmm."

I came in watching him getting ready to go. He got his keys walking over. I took his hand in mine then I went out with him.

Grissom and I walked into our home. I watched him walk by me with the day's mail in his hand. He turned looking back at me with interest.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing, I just like watching you." I said

I smiled walking over.

"Does anyone tell you how cute you are?"

"I believe you did once." He said, looking at the mail.

"Well you are."

"Hmm." He said

I grabbed the mail from his hand throwing it to the floor as I kissed him. He kissed me back then he moved.

"Hungry?" He asked

"Yes."

"Take out, or I can make something?"

"We have left over lasagna." I said

"Sounds good."

He looked at my lips then walked away. I sighed watching him go then I looked down at the mail on the floor. A letter caught my attention. I bent over picking the mail up looking at the envelope. Grissom put the lasagna in the oven then he turned seeing me walking in looking at him confused.

"Grissom….what is this?" I asked, holding out the envelope.

He took it reading it then he looked at me.

"It's a letter from Sophia Curtis."

"Why is she writing you?" I asked

He opened it reading the contents. I crossed my arms over my chest waiting.

"She is coming back to work again." He said, looking at me. "Sara, I thought you were over this."

"I am. I was happy when she left."

He put down the letter on the counter pulling me against him.

"Honey, you need to let this go. We are all adults."

I sighed looking to the side as I laid my head against his chest.

"Promise me that you will not fight with her."

"I will try not to."

He kissed my head.

Sophia came back after another week. Grissom had her join Catherine's team which I was thankful. We were all called to work a large ten car pileup in the middle of nowhere. Sophia walked over to where I was looking inside a car. I glanced at her as she walked by me shining her flashlight inside.

"Mind if I help?" She asked

"No." I said, lying. She went to the other side opening the other side.

"Lots of blood." She said

I looked at the glass on the floor. She looked over at me then back at the seat.

"So, um…how are you doing?"

"Great."

"Good." She said "I wanted to tell you how sorry I was about…..what happened."

I looked at her a moment.

"It's over, that's what matters." I said

"That's a very adult thing to say." She said

"Thank's."

She put some objects she found in the seat in a bag.

"How's Gil?" She asked

"He's doing fine." I said, annoyed she used his name.

"I miss this work, and him."

"I am done here." I said, shutting the door. "I'll go check the other one."

I started to walk past when she stood.

"Sara?"

I turned as she walked over facing me.

"You deserve to be happy, and I am glad you and Grissom got together."

I nodded looking at her.

She watched me walk away without another word. Russell sat on a guardrail seeing me sit near him taking a break.

"Want to talk?" He asked "I got time."

I looked at him.

"Do you ever wish there was a hole that you could drop people you don't like in?"

He chuckled moving over closer to me.

"Yes, who do you wish that on?"

"Sophia Curtis."

"I don't know her."

"She likes men with power."

"Oh." He said

"She was after Grissom a few years ago."

"Is that why you don't like her?"

"Yes."

He nodded.

"Did Grissom like her?"

"I think he was attracted to her."

"So she was a threat?"

"Yes."

"You have Grissom now. Is she still a threat?"

I looked at him.

"Yes."

"Do you trust him?"

"I don't know."

"That's your problem."

I nodded looking over at the activity.

"Sara?" Russell said, reaching over taking my hand. "Grissom is a loyal man. He is a good man. I know he would never stray from you."

"I am just afraid."

"You don't need to put this stress on yourself. Just keep saying Grissom loves me."

"Grissom loves me."

"Yes."

I nodded giving him a little smile. He smiled back then he let me go to stand.

"I better get back to work."

"Yeah, me to."

"Your break doesn't end for ten minutes. Just rest here."

"Okay."

He walked away leaving me alone. I looked down at my hand seeing a tiny cut on my ring finger. Grissom walked over touching my shoulder.

"On break?"

"Yeah, when did you get here?" I asked, standing.

"A few minutes ago. I wanted to look around."

He looked over at the people working then he looked at me.

"Want to come with me a few minutes?"

"Where?"

"Away from here."

"Okay."

He took my hand leading me off to the left behind the vehicles we arrived in. He stopped behind one Tahoe putting his hands on my waist.

"How are you really?"

"Tired." I said

He pulled me against him kissing my neck gently. I closed my eyes allowing him access. He lifted his head kissing mine then he rested his it against mine.

I moved my head at an angle kissing him. He moved his arms around me moving his lips over mine. My arms moved over his back. He broke the kiss looking at me.

"Your lips are cold."

"Are they blue?" I asked

"Not yet." He said "Sophia told me you talked."

"A little bit."

"Good."

"I have to go back to work."

"I have to go back to the lab."

I nodded not wanting to let him go. He hugged me again then let me go. I missed his warmth. He smiled touching my cheek then we parted ways. I went back to work looking at the crashed cars.

I rode back with Russell yawning. He looked over at me as I slept with my head against the glass.

"Can we get some food?" Nick asked, behind him.

"I think we all need some. We can drop off the evidence at the lab then go." Russell said

I sat an hour later in a chair at the diner we usually ate at. Grissom appeared taking a seat next to me. I yawned as we waited for food laying my head against his shoulder. He moved his head towards me.

"Do you want to get the food to go?" He asked

"No." I said

He took my hand under the table as he talked to Russell. We ate then Grissom drove me home. My body gave into sleep the moment I fell into bed. I didn't even realize that Grissom got in beside me.

His alarm went off and I moved grimacing as he moved to stop it. He came back wrapping his arms around me.

"Time to work." He said, against my head.

"I am never working again."

He chuckled.

"What will you do?" He said

"Sleep."

"Not much of a life."

"I don't care." I said

He stayed still enjoying my body pressed against him. I drifted off feeling him moving.

"Where are you going?"

"Like I said time to work." He said

"Mmmmm!" I groaned, moving.

He pulled the blankets off the bed and I glared at him. I got up and dressed. Grissom handed me a cup of coffee then we left for work. I worked in the garage with a few people from Catherine's group.

I came out of there for break seeing Sophia talking to Grissom outside his office. He laughed nodding as she talked more. I walked slowly towards them stopping as they both started to walk the opposite direction. He at one point put his hand on the small of her back. I was floored by that.

After work I saw them again together outside talking and laughing. Grissom looked over at me watching me walk right by them mad. I waited at the car as he walked over.

"Ready?"

"Say goodbye to your girlfriend?"

Grissom stopped mid step surprised.

"What did you say?"

"You heard me!" I said, getting in the passenger side.

Grissom got in sitting back looking at me.

"Sara, why are you so mad?"

"I saw you touch her!"

"When?"

"Earlier! I saw you touch her back!" I said, glaring at him. "Something is going on and I don't like it!"

I looked over seeing Sophia walking over to Grissom's side.

"Sara!" He called, as I got out walking over to her.

"Stay away from him!" I shouted

Grissom got out stunned.

"What?" Sophia said. Looking at me then at Grissom.

"I don't want to see you near him again!"

"Sara, stop this!"

I started shaking as they both stared at me like I had lost my mind. I backed up running away hearing Grissom call after me. Russell was about to come out when I rushed past him into the building. He walked back following me concerned. I sat down in an empty room on the floor crying as Russell came in seeing me.

"Hey, you okay?" He asked, walking over kneeling down touching my hand on my knee.

"No." I said

He sighed rubbing my hand. My phone went off. I took it throwing it on the other side of the room. Russell moved sitting beside me quietly.

I held my head with my hand crying. My phone went off again as Russell looked over at it.

"Do you want me to answer it?" He asked

"No." I said

He took a breath slowly moving his arm over my shoulder and I moved over putting my head against his shoulder.

I took off my rings tossing them over by the phone on the floor.

"It's over!" I said

"It's not over." He said

I sniffed hearing my phone ring again.

"He's not going away."

"Answer it." I said

He got up walking over picking up the rings and phone. I wiped my eyes sniffing.

"Hey Gil." Russell answered looking at the floor as he walked around. "I am with her."

He looked over at me.

"No, she's upset." He said "We are in Lab B."

I shook looking around.

"Okay, I'll stay with her."

He hung up walking over.

"He's coming."

"I….don't want to see him."

"I think you should."

I held my head in my hands as he stood holding my things. The door came open as Grissom slid inside looking at me. Russell walked over handing him my things then he walked out. Grissom walked over sitting down beside me.

I sniffed wiping my eyes looking away from him. He gently reached over touching my hand.

"No." I said, moving.

He tried again, but I moved. The third time him put his hand on my back. I moved laying my head on his legs curling up into a ball crying. Grissom touched my hair then my arm rubbing it.

He put his arm around my waist walking me out to the car five minutes later. I wiped my eyes walking slowly. We got into the car driving home. Once inside the house I lost it crying. Grissom pulled me against him. He sat me down on the couch holding me.

"It's okay." He said "It's okay."

I felt my shaking lesson minutes later as he kissed my head smoothing back my hair.

"You…hate me." I said

"No, I don't." He said "I am sorry."

I moved back looking at him with red eyes.

"Why are you sorry? I messed up."

"I shouldn't have touched her back."

"You need to find someone stable."

"No, I want you." He said, touching my cheek.

"Grissom, you deserve that. I will just bring you down."

"Sara, there is no one I want."

I looked down.

"Sophia is a better match."

"I don't love her."

He searched my eyes touching my cheek still. I got up hearing him follow me to the bedroom. I changed without a word then I sat down on the bed. Grissom changed sitting beside me.

"You better get something to eat." I said, looking down.

"You to."

"I am not hungry."

"What will you do?"

"Go to bed."

"I'll stay with you." He said

"No, you go." I said, looking at him.

He stared at me as if trying to find out what I was thinking.

"I'll go brush my teeth." I said, getting up.

He watched me close the door behind me to the bathroom. Inside, I looked at myself in the mirror. I was pale with red eyes. I opened the medicine cabinet seeing the bottle of sleeping pills I had just in case. I came back out seeing Grissom standing by the door looking at me worried. He watched me sigh then move over to him.

He touched my arm then he leaned in kissing me. I kissed him feeling tears threatening to erupt again. I moved back letting him go to get into bed. As soon as he went into the bathroom I cried again. He came out coming to the bed lying beside me putting his arm around my waist.

"Sara, what can I say?" He asked

I breathed deeply sleeping.

"I love you so much." He said, kissing my head.

He laid his head back on the pillow sighing. The next day I still slept in bed as Grissom stood at the door watching me silently. He noted my pale skin. He walked over sitting on the bed touching my stretched out arm.

"Time to get up." He said

I moved stretching opening my eyes looking at him.

"What time is it?" I asked

"Almost time for work."

I moved sitting up looking down at his hand on mine.

"Get up and dressed."

He stood leaving the room as I watched him go. He drove us to work taking my arm leading me inside.

"Sara, you are with me." He said

"I have to help with the case." I said

"I need your help today." Grissom said

He walked with me to his office unlocking the door leading me inside. He shut the door putting his things on his desk then he looked at me.

"What are we doing?"

"I want to talk to you."

"Okay." I said

He walked over leaning on his desk.

"I talked to Russell and we both agreed you need some time off."

"I don't…."

"Yes, you do. We want you to take a week off with pay. Today you will help me with paperwork."

"Grissom." I said

"No arguments." He said "Oh, you need to apologize to Sophia."

"I can't." I said

"Sara, you have to."

I sighed looking down. Grissom reached out his hand to me. I slowly took it letting him pull me over.

"You dropped these." He said, getting out my two rings. I lifted my hand and he put them on my finger.

I looked at him as he looked at me.

"Sara, do you trust me?"

"Yes."

"Then you know that I would never do anything to destroy what we have." He said "I want to be with you forever."

I watched him kiss my hand then he lowered it.

"Even though I may freak out?"

"You don't have to freak out. Sophia and I are friends. Nothing else."

"I don't trust her."

"I know and that is the problem. She told me yesterday that she is dating a cop. So you don't have to feel paranoid."

I looked down as he watched me. I lifted my head searching his eyes then I moved in to kiss him. Just as our lips met his phone went off. He pulled back grabbing his phone looking at me as he answered.

I watched him talk a moment then hang up.

"I have a meeting so you just take it easy here."

"Okay."

He touched my arm kissing me gently then he walked out. I looked around his office then I laid down on the couch by the door. I dreamed about sailing on a boat with Greg and Hodges. When I woke I could hear someone in the room. Keeping my eyes closed I just listened. Papers were moving which meant Grissom was working at his desk. A knock at his door made me freeze. I heard the door open.

"Hey Gil, can we talk?" Russell asked

"Come in."

Russell came in seeing me on the couch.

"Is Sara okay?"

"As far as I know." Grissom said "She's going to apologize to Sophia."

"Good." He said, sitting in a chair in front of the desk. "Sophia wants to be on my team."

"I don't think that is a good idea right now." Grissom said

"I agree."

"When Sara and Sophia are near each other you can feel the atmosphere change."

"I know, it's always been that way. I have spent time thinking about this situation. They are just two different personalities, but they need to work together."

Russell nodded. He walked out leaving. Grissom got up walking over touching my arm.

"Sara?"

I moved looking at him.

"I think you should apologize now."

I sighed nodding getting up. He walked out with me to where Sophia was in the garage. I looked at Grissom feeling him push me into the room. Sophia turned seeing me and Grissom.

"Sara has something to say to you." Grissom said

"What is it?" She asked

"I…wanted to apologize for my behavior." I said "I am sorry."

She looked at Grissom then at me.

"Thank you."

I nodded taking a breath.

"I want you two to get along. No more fighting." Grissom said

We both nodded looking at each other. I walked out with Grissom back to his office.

"I hate you." I said

"No, you don't." He said, sitting behind his desk. "Let's get to work."

I slowly walked over sitting beside him.

We came home and I laid on the couch. Grissom climbed over me kissing me slowly. I watched him move back. He smiled at me as I did.

"It's nice to see your smile again." He said

"I know I haven't been happy lately, but I feel better." I said

"You're going to rest this week, aren't you?"

"I am going to be bored."

"You might be." He said

"So, what are we going to eat?"

"I don't know."

I kissed him forgetting that I was hungry. He started kissing my neck tickling my skin with his warm breath.

"Grissom, when you do this I…."

"What?" He asked, muffled in my neck.

"I..don't know."

He chuckled lifting his head.

"I think we should go in the bedroom."

"I am comfortable here."

"Me to, but I would be more comfortable in there."

I reached up touching his hair.

"Okay."

He pulled me up taking me to the bedroom. Ten minutes later he moved to lay beside me on the bed still breathing fast. I yawned laying my head on a pillow touching his chest with my hand. He looked over at me.

"You okay?" I asked

He nodded calming down.

"My….heart is racing." He said

"I know." I said

He touched my hand on his chest looking at the ceiling.

"Thank you." I said

"For what?"

"For loving me." I said

He looked at me as I smiled.

"I will always love you."

"I know."

He slowly sat up.

"I'll make us something."

"Eggs?" I asked

He looked at me.

"Eggs it is." He said, getting up. I looked at his back as he walked over getting out some pajama pants and a tee shirt. He walked out and I sighed contented to lay in bed. The smell of food made my stomach growl. I got up putting pajamas on walking out to the kitchen. Grissom whistled as he took toast out of the toaster then he checked the eggs. I walked over putting my arms around his middle.

"Smells good." I said, laying my head against his shoulder.

"Mmhmm." He answered

We sat at the island eating. I looked at his profile admiring how handsome he was. At one point he wiped his mouth looking at me.

"Is it good?" He asked

"Yeah." I said, still staring at him.

He nodded taking a sip of coffee in the mug he held. I went back to eating glancing at him. We went to bed holding each other. Grissom was not in bed when I woke. He was talking to someone in the living room and the TV was on. I walked out seeing him glued to the TV as he held the phone to his ear.

"What's wrong?" I asked

I turned looking on the TV seeing the lab with smoke coming out of it.

"Huh!" I gasped

"I'll be right there!" Grissom said

He hung up touching my arm before walking to the door.

"Grissom, I want to come!" I said, running over.

"No, I want you to stay here."

"You need help!"

He opened the door looking at me.

"Stay here. I will phone you later."

"Grissom!"

"Stay." He said, shutting the door. I sighed running back to the TV seeing the chaos as people milled around.

I watched the news as they talked about the mystery explosion. I wanted to go there. I got up going to change my clothes not caring if Grissom said stay. I arrived seeing injured people everywhere moaning on stretchers. The police walked around as people went in and out of the building.

"Sara?" Greg called, running over with a bandage on his head. "Have you seen Grissom?"

"No." I said

"Okay." He said, running off.

I walked over to the entrance seeing a lab worker sitting on the ground with blood all over her white lab coat looking off into space. I slowly knelt down to her touching her arm. She turned looking at me with large glassy eyes.

"It's gone, all of it." She said

"Are you all right?"

"Have you seen Sharon?" She asked

"I'll look for her."

I stood walking over to the nearest paramedic bringing him over to see to her. I went inside smelling an odd odor. The place was smoky and hard to see clearly. I went to the right hearing people talking. Coughing, I walked further down the hallway feeling heat. The sprinklers were off but the floor was wet and strobe lights were blinking. I walked on coughing more when the odd odor became worse. Some men stood with masks on as I appeared.

"Hello?" I said, before coughing.

I was yanked away to the front door by someone. Once outside I saw it was Grissom wearing the mask. He took it off looking mad.

"Sara, I told you to stay at home!"

"I know, but you didn't call me."

"I was going over the damage!" He said "I want you to go home and stay there now!"

"Look, I can help!"

"No, go home!" He said, before putting the mask back on going inside. I stood there a moment then I walked off.

My throat tickled later as I sat in the bed working on my laptop. Grissom came home looking around for me. He went to the bedroom seeing me lying on my side on the bed with the laptop beside me still on. He reached over taking the laptop looking at what was on the screen. Closing it he put it down then climbed on the bed kissing my head moving my hair away from my face.

"Hey." He said, gently.

I moved squirming then I sat up coughing. Grissom sat down touching my back.

"You okay?"

I nodded coughing more. I took some deep breaths as he looked at me concerned.

"When did you get home?" I asked

"A moment ago."

I nodded before coughing again. He moved my hair back as I laid back breathing in and out.

"When did this start?" He asked

"I'm fine." I said

I took another breath swallowing.

"How's the lab?"

"It will go on. There was a chemical that was mixed with another in the lab."

"Oh."

I coughed again touching my chest.

"Sara, does your chest hurt?"

I nodded trying to breathe. Grissom made me lie down touching my neck then he leaned down putting his head against my chest.

"Lungs are clogged." He said, getting his phone out dialing 911. I looked at him scared as he talked touching my neck.

An ambulance came and I was loaded inside on a stretcher. An oxygen mask was put over my nose and mouth. Grissom sat looking at me as the vehicle sped off. Grissom waited worried as he looked at the doors for the doctor.

Later Grissom was led into a room where I was lying on a bed with an oxygen mask on looking white as a sheet. He walked over touching my limp hand on my stomach.

"What are her odds?" Grissom asked, looking over at the doctor.

"She could go into respiratory failure any time and then…" He said "With the amount or chlorine gas she inhaled it's hard to say."

Grissom sighed.

"If she had listened to me and not come to the lab."

"You can't blame yourself."

"I should have predicted this."

"We will do everything we can."

Grissom looked at him nodding. The doctor left as Grissom rubbed my hand. Catherine came in later touching his shoulder causing him to jump awake. He looked at me then at Catherine.

"How long have you been here?" She asked, quietly.

He blinked rubbing his face.

"What day is it?"

"I knew it. Come with me."

He looked at me.

"Don't worry about her. Come on." She said, pulling him up.

He chose to go out without a fight. Catherine took him to the cafeteria for food. He ate slowly as she sat across from him holding a cup of coffee.

"I brought you some things to change into."

"Thank you."

"So how are you?"

He chewed looking at her.

"I keep going over that day in my mind. She was fine and now…..I may lose her."

"Gil, Sara is strong. She will get through this."

"Why did she come down to the lab? I should have tied her up."

"She came down because she is Sara. No one can tell her what to do."

"That's true." He said

He sighed holding his head with his hand.

Grissom changed and then came back in sitting beside the bed. He watched me for days checking in with the lab often. Catherine made him go home only to be called back into the hospital. Grissom ran to my room opening the door seeing me sitting up some looking over at him as a nurse stood beside the bed.

"Sara?!" He said, walking over.

"I'll get the doctor." She said, walking out.

Grissom touched my white cheek looking me over.

"Sara." He said

"I heard you." I said, weakly.

"When?"

"I heard….you say…..fight this, Sara."

He kissed my head feeling tears in his eyes. I closed my eyes as he rubbed his cheek against mine. The doctor came in seeing us move to see him.

"Well I was told you decided to wake up." The doctor said

"I….needed to." I said, looking at Grissom.

"You're not out of the woods yet, but this is a hopeful improvement." He said

Grissom fed me soup then he read to me. When I slept he called the lab. He came back into the room seeing that I was moving around the bed moaning in my sleep. He walked over sitting on the bed touching my hand. I stopped moving going back to sleep.

The next day Grissom went to the lab as I rested. He came back as the nurse was yelling at me.

"I told you to get back in bed!" She said

"Give…me the papers….I'll sign them." I said, holding the bed.

"Sara, why are you out of bed?" He asked, walking over.

"I…don't need to be here." I said "Grissom, get….my clothes."

"You are not well enough to go." The nurse said

The doctor came in seeing us. He walked over frowning looking at me.

"What is going on here?" He asked

"Mrs. Grissom has decided to leave." The nurse said

"I see."

I looked at them all then at Grissom.

"My husband was about to help me dress."

"Sara, I agree with them. You are not well enough." He said

I looked at him as the doctor came over to me. I let go of the bed ready to fight anyone that touched me. Suddenly, my energy disappeared and I started to fall forwards. The doctor and Grissom lunged forwards to catch me. The doctor got there first kneeling down with me against him.

"I can't let you go home. You are to weak." He said

I moved my head some against his coat. Grissom helped him put me on the bed. I moved around moaning trying to get away.

"No!" I said, moving making them let me go.

"I'll sit with her." Grissom said

They nodded leaving us alone. Grissom sat on the bed touching my arms watching me move around.

"Sara, it's all right." He said, gently.

"No…..no!"

"Ssh." He said, moving closer touching my head and cheek.

I moved my head to the side feeling tears come down my cheeks. Grissom wiped them away as I tried to fight. Grissom caressed my cheek as I eventually stopped struggling sleeping. He watched me awhile wishing we could go back before this happened.

I woke slowly opened my eyes seeing it was night and raining outside. I looked around for Grissom seeing I was alone. I sat up slowly easing off the bed taking out my IV. Holding onto to things I walked over to the door peeking out. I dressed walking back to the door opening it I looked around quietly coming out, I walked down the hallway holding onto the wall. I could hear voices and I darted into a room waiting for a few nurses to go past. I came out looking around then I made my escape. Grissom was coming in from home feeling refreshed. He walked past the nurse's station nodding at them before opening the hallway doors. I went out a side door feeling the rain hit me.

Grissom came out of my room looking around finding a nurse.

"My wife is gone!" He said "Sara Grissom."

He went with her looking around worried.

I walked to the parking lot letting the rain drench me. It felt good to be free.

Grissom ran outside with the doctor looking around.

"I'll check the parking lot." Grissom said, running out in the rain. I walked past the cars looking around. Grissom stopped looking around letting water go down his face. "Sara!"

I stopped hearing my name being called.

"Sara!" Grissom called, walking forwards.

I walked past some more cars breathing in and out fast.

"Sara!" Grissom shouted

I stopped again looking back. Grissom ran past parked cars seeing me standing between two cars. He ran over grabbing me in a tight hug.

"Sara, don't ever do that again!"

I shook closing my eyes content to be held by him. He sighed kissing my head.

"I….can't…go back…in there." I said

He moved my head back touching my cheeks. He kissed me slowly putting his hands on my arms. I moaned in his mouth not noticing the rain hitting us. He deepened the kiss making me dizzy. I felt him move away picking me up against him. I laid my head against his shoulder putting my arms around his neck. He walked back into the hospital.

I could hear someone talking over me as I laid still in the bed.

"She is making amazing progress despite her escape. I would say another two days and then she can go home."

"She will be happy to hear that." Grissom said

I heard the door close and then a hand went to mine rubbing my fingers. I opened my eyes seeing a smiling Grissom.

"I have some good news for you." He said "You're going home in two days."

I nodded looking at him. He leaned over kissing me then he went back to rubbing my hand.

Grissom and I came home on the second day. I slowly walked around looking at the familiar surroundings. Grissom hugged me then said something about making something to eat. I sat down on the couch happy to be home. He came back in with a sandwich for me. I took it slowly eating.

"When can I work?" I asked

He chuckled looking at me.

"I knew you would ask me that." He said "You can work next Monday."

I made a sound.

"That is a week away!"

"Sara, you just came home from the hospital."

"I can work!"

"I am not arguing." He said

I put down my sandwich sighing. He got up leaving me alone. I put my plate on the coffee table pouting. I stayed home feeling stronger every day. By the time Monday came I was up and dressed before he was. I was welcomed back by almost everyone. I worked in the lab only helping Nick with his case.

"This place has been boring since you left." He said

"Really?" I asked, smiling.

"Even Greg was miserable."

"That's hard to believe."

"He's been moping around here."

"Well he can cheer up now." I said

"Did you look at the new labs on the other side?"

"Not yet." I said

He nodded looking at the screwdriver in front of him. I dusted the knife for prints as he did the screwdriver.

"So what was it like?" He asked

I looked at him confused.

"What was what like?"

"Dying."

"I wasn't dying."

"Grissom said you were. He was really worried about you." He said "The only other time I saw him like that was when you went away."

"Well I was not dying. I was sick, but not dying."

He nodded.

"So you didn't see a white light?"

"Not yet."

He smiled at me as I smiled at him.

Grissom walked over to where I stood waiting for him leaning against the wall.

"Hello dear." He said

"Hello."

"What are you doing?"

"Waiting for you."

"Why?"

I looked him up and down getting closer. I leaned over whispering something in his ear. His eyes got wide as I kept talking. I moved back looking at him smiling.

"I can't believe you said that!" He said

"When we get home I will show you what I mean."

"I think I have a picture in my mind."

"If you don't want to I can….." I said, whispering in his ear again.

"Sara!" He said

I giggled watching him look at me in shock.

"Not interested?"

"I didn't say that, but I can't believe you know about that."

"What are you two talking about?" Catherine asked, appearing around the corner.

"Ah." Grissom said

"We were talking about desert." I said, smiling.

"Oh?" Catherine said, looking at Grissom who was already turning red.

"Ready to go?" He asked

"Yep." I said

He grabbed me by the arm yanking me away from a smiling Catherine. Grissom got inside the car as I burst out laughing. He shook his head turning on the car. I touched his leg making him look down before driving home.

Once inside the house I clutched his coat.

"Mr. Grissom, are you ready for my special surprise?"

"I don't know if I ever will be." He said

"Let's try it." I said, pulling him with me.

Half an hour later Grissom sat up in bed with his eyes closed leaning his head against the headboard still breathing fast as I watched him smiling with my head against the pillow.

He opened his eyes looking at me as he calmed down a little.

"Did you enjoy that?" I asked

"I…think….I can….recommend it again."

I reached over touching his hand. He slid down turning the light off. I let him spoon me and we slept in peace.

Grissom slept still as I ate some toast and drank coffee ready for work. I watched the news as he came out looking sleepy as he went to get some coffee in his pajamas.

"Hey." I said

He walked back out of the kitchen holding a blue mug.

"Hey." He said, putting a hand through his hair.

"I wore you out." I said

He nodded yawning before drinking some coffee. I watched him go back in the bedroom. He parked outside the lab half an hour later. I got out following him inside seeing Sophia walking towards us.

"Gil, can I talk to you?" She asked "Hey Sara."

"Hey." I said

"Yes." Grissom said, waving at me before walking with Sophia. I sighed walking to the locker room then to work. At break I sat eating an apple in the breakroom reading a science magazine when Sophia walked in buttoning her shirt at the top. I watched her get some coffee then look over at me.

"Hey Sara." She said

"Hey." I said, looking at her.

She walked over sitting in a chair near me.

"So how are you?" She asked

"Good." I said "How are you?"

"Same."

Grissom came in seeing us. Sophia smiled at him as he smiled back getting some coffee. I watched them then I went back to my magazine. He walked over looking at us.

"Sara, did you get the results yet?"

"No, Hodges is still working on them."

"Give them to Russell by the end of the day."

"I will." I said

"Gil, when is your meeting today?" Sophia asked

"Um…pretty soon." He said, looking at his watch.

She nodded taking a drink of her coffee.

I looked at her then at him. He gave me a look saying don't start then he left. I sighed shaking my head as she stood following him out.

I got the results handing them in to Russell then I walked to the locker room. I sat on the bench in front of the locker resting looking at my phone. Sophia walked in seeing me as she opened her locker. I glanced at her then I went back to my phone. Her phone went off and she answered smiling.

"Hey, what are you doing?"

I almost rolled my eyes as she talked in this gentle flirty voice.

"I had fun to." She said, before giggling.

I stood looking at her as she glanced at me. I walked out as she giggled again. Grissom was at the main desk on the phone as I walked over. He looked at me then hung up.

"Who was that?" I asked

"Just an old friend." He said

I nodded as I followed him outside. We got home and he went into the bedroom to change. I walked in seeing his cell phone on the dresser. As he was in the bathroom I took the phone sitting on the bed looking at his phone history.

He came out in pajamas seeing me laying back on the bed still in my work clothes.

"Tired?" He asked

"No." I said, looking at the ceiling.

He nodded looking at me.

"Take out?"

"Yeah."

His hand touched mine and he pulled me up kissing me. I moved back searching his face.

"I love you." He said

I smiled a little.

"I love you to."

He let me go walking out to the living room. I watched him leave then I looked at his cell phone again in my hand.

I came out seeing him come out of the kitchen then to the couch. I slowly walked over holding out his phone. He looked at it then at me.

"Grissom, are you having an affair?" I asked

He looked at me shocked at the question.

"No, I have told you before I love you."

"Why is Sophia's number on here a lot?"

He took his phone looking at it then at me.

"She had a question."

"She was talking to you at the time I saw her in the locker room."

"I was talking to a friend from college, not Sophia."

I looked at him.

"Sara, I would never cheat on you."

I wanted to trust him, but I was jealous. He looked at me as I looked at him. He pulled me down to sit on his lap. He kissed me slowly moving his soft lips over mine. My jealously disappeared after a second. I was swept away by his touch. He laid me back on the couch as he moved over me. He began to undo my pants kissing my neck. I gasped as he kissed a sensitive spot near my ear.

The doorbell rang and he stopped breathing in and out fast. I sighed hearing it go off again.

"Our….food." I said

He nodded getting off me. I sat up doing up my pants before standing.

"I'll…get it." I said

"Thanks." He said, sitting down on the couch.

I got the food bringing it into the living room. Grissom and I ate watching a movie then we went into the bedroom. The next morning I felt incredible. We went to work and it was a good shift. Catherine came out of her office seeing me coming out of the breakroom laughing at something Greg said. I waved at her as I walked past.

"Sara?" She called

I turned looking at her.

"What?"

She walked over starting to smile.

"You're pregnant aren't you?"

I looked at her confused.

"No, I am not."

"Yes, you are." She said "I can always tell."

She patted my arm walking away. I watched her go in shock. I went to the bathroom when we got him getting out my reserve test from my dresser. I paced outside the bathroom door hearing Grissom talking to someone on the phone in the living room.

He walked into the bedroom and I ran to him almost knocking him down.

"Sara, your chocking me!" He said

I moved away from shaking with excitement.

"Grissom, I am going to have a baby!"

"What?!"

"I just did a test."

He shook his head speechless.

"I can't believe this!"

I hugged him as he hugged me tightly.


	3. Chapter 3

Seven months went by since I told Grissom the news of the baby. It had been a rough time with sickness and worrying at any moment I would lose the baby. My cravings became obsessive and Grissom tried to keep up with my many requests. He ordered me to rest and eat everything he made. I was not to lift anything heavy or be near anything at the lab that could be harmful when inhaled. The ban on coffee was the only thing I found difficult. Grissom rubbed my feet and consoled me when I had mood swings. I loved him more and more.

One shift at the lab I stood looking at some results from trace while touching my round belly. The baby was kicking hard against my stomach and resting on my bladder making it difficult to work since every other moment I was in the bathroom. That familiar unpleasant urge came again as I walked out into the hallway seeing Greg walking by.

"Greg, can you give this paper to Russell?" I asked, handing him the paper.

"I was leaving."

"Please, on your way out?" I said

"You have to go again?" He asked, slightly amused.

"Yeah!" I said, walking fast to the restroom.

I came out feeling better. I walked to Russell's office seeing he was looking at the paper that I gave Greg.

"How are you doing?" He asked

"Great." I said

He smiled giving me back the paper.

"Looks good."

"Thanks."

I put my hand on my stomach.

"The baby kicking?"

"Yes."

He stood walking around his desk.

"May I?"

I nodded watching as he touched my stomach.

"Wow!" He said

I smiled as he continued to feel. The door came open as Grissom opened the door seeing us.

"Russell, are you trying to put the moves on my wife?"

"Yes, we are running away with each other." Russell said, winking.

I laughed as he went to sit behind his desk.

"I changed the meeting to tomorrow." Grissom said

"Okay." Russell said

Grissom looked at me a moment.

"I better go." I said, walking out. Grissom came out seeing me waiting by the door.

"You okay?" He asked

"Yes, except the baby keeps kicking me, and making me want to pee."

"Hmm." He said, putting his hand on my belly. He moved his hand over the area that the kicking was happening soothing the baby.

"How do you do that?" I asked

"It's a gift." He said

"Thank you."

He smiled touching my hand.

"Catherine has been asking me the sex of the baby."

"Did you tell her?" I asked

"Not yet."

"You can."

"I will." He said

"I should get back to the computer lab." I said

"Paper work on my desk." He said "I'll walk with you."

I nodded walking with him down the hallway.

"Since the baby is a girl I was thinking about names."

"I thought we agreed on Julia." He said, quietly.

"I know, but I wanted a name that no one else has."

"Like what?"

"Zara."

He stopped at the computer lab door looking at me.

"Zara Grissom?"

"Yes."

"I need to think about that one."

"Okay."

He smiled opening the door for me then walking away. I helped Warrick then I helped Greg. I yawned as the shift was over. Grissom drove us home as I slept in my seat. We parked outside of the house and I moved yawning again.

"Honey, I think it's time for you to work part time." Grissom said "You're tired and your ankles are swollen."

"I am tired more and more. I think it's time to." I said, getting out of the car.

Grissom put his hand around my waist walking to the stairs. I stopped touching my stomach.

"What's wrong?" Grissom asked, concerned.

"Oh, I have to pee! Keys!" I said

Grissom handed me the keys and I ran up the stairs opening the door frantically. Grissom closed the door picking up the keys from the floor. I came out a moment later as Grissom looked at the mail by the desk.

"I wish she would move." I said

"She will."

I walked over putting my head against Grissom's back.

"I am in the mood for Chinese food." I said

"Me to."

He ordered take out then we sat on the couch. I yawned touching my stomach as he watched TV rubbing my ankles.

The food came twenty minutes later. I ate my dinner and some of his. We went to bed after. I moved around unable to find a comfortable position. My back ached as I groaned unhappy. Grissom laid on his side oblivious to my discomfort. I looked over at him sleeping mad that he could sleep. I sat up and got up walking to the bathroom. The baby kicked hard making me winch. I went to the kitchen looking for something. I found an orange and some chocolate swirl ice cream. Getting a knife and a large spoon I sat at the island to eat. The living room light came on lighting up the kitchen. I froze hearing Grissom walk over seeing me.

"Can't sleep?" He asked, rubbing his face.

"No." I said, eating again.

"Why not?" He asked, sitting beside me.

"My back is hurting."

"Mmm." He said, resting his head on his hand.

I smiled at his messed up hair.

"I don't think it's your back that is causing you not to sleep. I think it's because you are worried."

I swallowed looking at him.

"I am not worried."

"Sara, I know you. I've known that you were worried for a while now."

I sighed sitting back putting the spoon down beside the container of ice cream.

"Okay, I am worried, but it's nothing that you need to be concerned with."

He took my hand.

"I want to know when you are. It's okay to feel that way. I am worried to."

"I don't want you to be."

"I can't help it."

I searched his eyes then I squeezed his hand.

"Let's try to get some sleep." He said

I nodded cleaning up my mess. He laid down beside me holding me feeling my body relax.

Grissom was gone when I woke and I decided to take the shift off. I cleaned the house then napped on the couch. I woke to Grissom's lips on my head.

"Hey." I said, stretching.

"I am glad to see your resting." He said

"What time is it?"

"About one am."

I sat up shocked.

"I have been asleep for eight hours?"

"You must have needed it." He said

I watched him walk away then I rubbed my head. Grissom went to be as I stayed up watching TV eating saltine crackers. I set the crackers down feeling a pain. I felt it again and slowly got up. Grissom was sleeping on his side as I walked into the bedroom. My fear was I was losing the baby. I walked to the bathroom trying to find some kind of stomach pill that I could take. I leaned over the sink as a stronger pain hit.

Grissom moved sitting up as he heard sounds of throwing up. He got up walking to the bathroom.

"Sara?"

I unlocked the door before throwing up again. Grissom knelt down to me rubbing my back. I laid back in his arms breathing in and out fast as I kept my eyes closed.

"Where does it hurt?" He asked

"Here." I said, touching the middle of my belly.

"It might be indigestion." He said

"Mmm." I answered, rubbing my stomach.

"Are you okay?"

I nodded laying my head against his chest.

He touched my stomach worried.

"Do we need to go to the hospital?"

"No, it stopped." I said, relieved.

He nodded watching me.

I took a breath then opened my eyes looking up at him. He helped me up flushing the toilet then he led me to bed. I laid down going to sleep immediately. Grissom stayed up touching my stomach feeling nothing. He kissed my stomach then laid down.

I came to work scared because the baby had stopped moving. Everyone could see that I was tense for some reason. Grissom watched his door open and I came in bursting out in tears as I shut the door.

"Sara, what's wrong?!" He asked, getting up walking over to me.

"The….babies…dead!" I said, against him.

"What do you mean?" He asked, moving me back.

"I….can't feel it!" I said, wiping my eyes with my hand.

"Honey, I found out from Catherine that happens during pregnancy."

"What…if I…killed her?!"

He pulled me against him again.

"You did not kill her. Let's call the doctor for an earlier appointment."

I nodded sniffing.

The next day I was lying in the doctor's office with goo all over my stomach as the doctor moved the ultrasound machine around. Grissom smoothed my hair as he looked at the screen.

"She's smaller than usual, but she looks good." The doctor said

"Why can't I feel her?" I asked

"It is normal for the baby to stop moving for a time, but she will move again. Drink some orange juice when you go home and you should get some results."

We left feeling relieved. Grissom bought some orange juice on the way to the lab. I drank it then I went to work. I waited and waited. When nothing happened I decided to just work.

Later I went to the diner with the guys. They joked making me laugh as I ate some fruit. We paid then walked back outside and I gasped touching my stomach.

"What's up?" Warrick asked

I looked at him surprised.

"The baby moved!"

"I told you had nothing to worry about." Nick said

I sighed smiling.

When Grissom took me home I told him. He grabbed my hand smiling.

At the end of my eighth month I was feeling miserable. The heat was unbearable outside so I just stayed inside the house with air conditioning running. I went on maternity leave after Grissom put his foot down. I was bored, but there wasn't anything I could do.

In the middle of the ninth month I sat up in bed watching Grissom dress for shift. He put on a brown coat looking over at me.

"So what will you do while I am at work?"

"I don't know." I said

"I would stay in bed."

"Maybe I will. Help me up." I said

He walked over taking my hands pulling. I stood looking down at myself then at him.

"I feel like a whale. Do I look like one?"

He chuckled.

"No you don't."

I walked with him to the front door.

"Take care of your mother." He said

"I told you to stop that." I said, smiling.

He kissed me then touched my cheek. I opened the door feeling a sharp pain.

"Owe!"

Grissom looked at me as I leaned over touching my belly.

"Sara?"

"It's okay." I said

He shut the door watching me walk to the dining room table.

"Owe!" I said

"Okay, I think we need to call an ambulance." He said, making me sit down on a chair.

I breathed in and out trying to relax as Grissom called 911. The ambulance came and the contractions were much worse. Grissom held my hand as I screamed. We arrived at the hospital and they wheeled me into the delivery room. Grissom walked in wearing a blue hospital shirt and pants. He talked to me as I tried to remember to breathe. The pain was incredible. I pushed unable to take much more. A baby's cry was the only thing I heard. Grissom watched them clean the baby. He looked at me seeing I had my eyes closed with my head to the side. The nurse brought over the baby for him to hold. He took her in his arms looking at her in amazement.

They put me into a room by myself where I could rest. Grissom kissed my head watching me move opening my eyes slowly.

"Do you want to see our baby?" He asked

"I had her?" I asked, weakly.

"Yes, and she is beautiful." He said

I watched him lift something next to me then he turned showing me the baby sleeping.

"I named her Julia Zara Grissom." He said

"Julia." I said, gently touching the pink blanket wrapped around her.

"What do you think?"

"I…love her." I said

He leaned down kissing me then he looked at the baby in his arms. We brought her home a few days later.

I smiled as Grissom lifted her out of the car seat next to the front door. He looked at me smiling back.

"You have held her more than I have."

"She likes to be held by her daddy." He said, walking around with her. I sighed going to the kitchen for some juice. I came out hearing her crying a little. Grissom looked outside in the living room while holding her against his chest. I watched him without a word. He turned seeing me watching him. He slowly walked over as Julia calmed down.

"I'll go change her then lay her down." He said

I nodded watching him go. He came out ten minutes later closing the door holding a turned on baby monitor. He walked over setting it on the coffee table before sitting next to me. I looked at him as he sighed looking at the wall across the room.

"Happy?" I asked

"Very." He said, turning his head looking at me. "We have a baby."

"I know."

He took my hand. I moved over slowly sitting on his lap kissing him. He put his arms on my back. I moved back looking at him as he did me.

"Want to sleep?" He asked

"That would be great. I just want to check on her first."

We got up going to the babies room. She moved her legs and hands with her eyes open in a cute pink outfit.

"She's fine." Grissom said

I touched her hand then I went with Grissom to bed. Half an hour later I woke with a start hearing crying coming from the baby on the monitor next to the bed. I sat up going to her room. She cried loudly as I walked over taking her in my arms. I walked out to the couch in the living room sitting down. I looked at her as I turned on the lamp on the table next to me. Not able to detect what this cry meant I did the only thing I could think of. Lifting my shirt, I lifted the baby up and she instantly latched on. I sighed relieved as she drank blinking. Her little hand reached up touching me. I touched her fingers feeling them grab at mine.

After she was done I just laid her against my legs playing with her hands. I stopped hearing a tiny explosion then a smell that came with it. Quickly, I went to her room and started to change her. As soon as I opened her small diaper I stood back seeing such a mess inside. The smell was terrible.

"How can a tiny baby make such a mess?" I asked

Hearing someone chuckle I turned seeing Grissom leaning against the door.

"Your daughter gave me a present." I said

He walked over looking down at the mess.

"Yes, she did." He said

"You want to handle this?" I asked

He smiled looking at me.

"No, but I will supervise." He said

"This is cruel." I said

He laughed watching me trying to wipe her off. I slid the diaper out from under her grimacing as I wiped her again. Grissom handed me a new diaper then he went to throw the used one away. I wrapped her up then lifted her up.

"Okay, we are clean again." I said

Grissom came back in taking her from me as I went to wash my hands. When I came back he had just about gotten her to sleep.

"You're good at this." I said, whispering.

He laid her down in the crib then led me outside.

I wrapped my arms around him.

"Can you put me to sleep?"

"What would you like?"

"Can you rub my back?"

"Yes."

I kissed him then we went back to the bedroom.

As the weeks went on I got better at being a mother. Grissom and Julia bonded and he was a great father. I returned to work missing my baby, but I wanted to get back to what I loved.

It was a month later that a sudden plane crash just outside of town caused chaos among the staff. The sky was lit up by fire as we drove closer. Once we got there all we could do was sit in the Tahoe and look on in shock. The road ahead was lit up covered in debris that spread to both sides of the road. Trees were on fire and had fallen over. We got out carrying our cases looking around. Firefighters struggled with the fires. Russell and Catherine called us all in a group. They told us to spread out working the scene. I got my phone out as I walked away.

"Grissom."

"Hey, it's me." I said

"How's the scene?"

"Horrible. Did you call?"

"Yes, she is fine."

"I am going to be here a long time. Call me later."

"All right, just becareful."

"Bye." I said, hanging up.

I canvased the area looking around. The fires had been put out, but the smoke still rose. I walked among the debris in the right side. I stepped over a tree trunk and my leg caught on something sharp. I winched gasping as I shined my light down seeing a jagged piece of metal sticking up. I moved sitting on the trunk looking at the cut. It was bleeding down my leg to my boot. I looked around as I laid my kit down opening it getting out some first aid gauze. I wrapped it around the wound then went back to work.

I winched coming up the hillside. Russell walked over looking concerned as I took a breath.

"Sara?"

"I am just taking a breather." I said

"Have you hurt yourself?"

I looked at him then down at my leg.

"Is that blood?"

"I just nicked it down there."

"Looks like a lot of blood for a nick."

"No, its fine."

"Come with me a minute." He said, walking away.

"Russell, its fine."

He turned motioning me to come. I went slowly without another word. He stopped at the vehicle he drove opening the back door motioning me to sit down. I winched sitting inside scooting back till my leg was up. Russell got out his big emergency kit.

"What are you going to do to me?" I asked

"I was a doctor in a past life." He said, putting on some gloves.

"Really?"

"Yes." He said, ripping my pants to look at the wound.

"Owe!" I said

"Sorry." He said

I winched as he cut the bandage taking it off.

"This is not a nick."

"I thought it was." I said, lying.

He got out some peroxide. I looked at him with wide eyes.

"Take deep breaths." He said

I took some watching him pour some over the wound. I pounded the floor with my fist as the peroxide bubbled. He watched me breathing through gritted teeth.

"Sara, I am going to have to stitch this cut."

"No." I said

"I will try to be gentle."

"Can you give me something?" I asked

"I can give you aspirin."

"No, something stronger."

"I don't have anything."

He got out the needle and thread. I tried to think who on the team had something with them.

"Greg!"

He looked at me.

"I know I am a wimp, but he has some pills that will help!"

"I can do this quick."

"Please!"

He looked at me then he got his phone out. Greg came over handing Russell the pills.

"It's legal." Greg said

Russell nodded handing me the pills and a bottle of water.

"Woah, are you okay?!" He asked, seeing my cut.

"I will be." I said

Greg took the bottle from me as Russell threaded the needle.

"Sara, those pills are potent."

"Thanks." I said

"Tell Catherine I need Warrick to drive Sara home."

"You got it." Greg said, running off.

Russell leaned over as I winched feeling the needle pierce my skin.

"You're doing fine." He said

"Why did you stop being a doctor?" I asked

"I like mysteries." He said

"Like Grissom?"

"Yes." He said, glancing at me before working again. I winched feeling the pills start to work. I leaned back against the back seat.

Warrick walked over looking at us.

"You need me?"

Russell glanced at him.

"Yes, I want you to drive Sara back to town."

"Warrick!" I said

"Sara!" He said

"You've got a really funny name." I said, laughing

"Pills are working." Russell said

"Yeah!" I said

He shook his head standing straight looking at me then he looked at Warrick.

"Take her home. I will call Grissom." Russell said

He put a new bandage around my leg then he looked at Warrick. They managed to lift me out and take me to a Tahoe in the back. As he drove I laid in the back seat looking at the stars.

"There are so many stars." I said "Where is Grissom?"

"He's at home." Warrick said

"Is that where….?"

He looked in the mirror seeing that I was sleeping. Warrick pulled into a parking spot outside of our house. He got out seeing Grissom coming out of the front door.

"Hey man."

"Hey, how is Sara?"

"See for yourself." He said, opening the back seat door. Grissom looked in seeing that I was lying on my side on the seat. "Greg gave her some pills."

I felt someone sit me up moving me. I moaned not wanting to move. I was picked up and carried.

When I moved next I felt someone touching my cheek and head. I moved hearing a sound like a baby then nothing.

"Mmm." I moaned

My eyes slid back seeing Grissom sitting quietly on the bed looking at me.

"Welcome back." He said

I looked down seeing my leg elevated by pillows. I looked at him again.

"What did Greg give me?" I asked, closing my eyes.

"He gave you some very potent tranquilizers." He said "He should have just given you one."

I sighed opening my eyes. Grissom touched my head and cheek.

"Is the baby okay?"

"Yes, she's sleeping."

I closed my eyes again feeling Grissom's lips on my cheek.

"Sara, are you hungry?"

"I could eat something."

"Grilled cheese?"

I opened my eyes seeing his searching mine.

"Yes."

He got up leaving and I sat up slowly looking at my leg.

I ate the sandwich and then he brought in the baby. I held her watching as she wriggled around.

"You're growing." I said

"She missed you."

"I missed her. I think she's hungry."

"I have a bottle." He said

He handed me the warm bottle. I watched her drink as her blue eyes looked around. He took her out of the room and I just sat back against the headboard thinking. Grissom came back in sitting beside me in the bed.

"The scene was terrible."

"I imagine it would be." He said

"No, this was much worse. There were body parts everywhere. It smell like burning flesh and hair. Fires everywhere."

"I remember going to my first plane crash in some wooded area." He said "I found a man's head in a tree."

"It makes me think about my own death."

"I have been thinking that we should decide who gets Julia in case."

"I think Catherine should." I said

"Me to."

I leaned over putting my head against his shoulder.

I came back to work limping some after a day of rest carrying Julia in a car seat. Setting her down on the breakroom table I got some coffee seeing Greg come in excited to see the baby.

"Oh you brought mini Grissom!" He said "Can I hold her?"

"Yes." I said, smiling.

He took her out holding her against him.

"She is so cute!" He said "I am your uncle Greg."

I chuckled before sipping my coffee. Russell and Catherine came in walking over to Greg making little baby noises.

"Sara, how are you feeling?" Russell asked

"Good." I said "The sitter could not watch her."

"That's okay. I can." Catherine said

"I don't want to bother anyone." I said

"Hey, I got paperwork to do. She can help me."

I smiled nodding.

Grissom walked over curiously looking in. He saw the baby in Greg's arms and walked in to look at her then at me.

"Baby sitter canceled?"

I nodded.

"I am going to watch her." Catherine said

Grissom looked at me then at her nodding. I gave Catherine an overfilled bag of baby things.

"Oh no!" Greg said, looking at us. "She pooped on me!"

I burst out laughing as the others did except Grissom, who smiled. Greg moved his hand showing us greenish yellow poop.

"Eww get it off!" He cried, handing Julia to Grissom then he went to the sink seeing he had it on his shirt to.

"I knew I would like her." Catherine said, taking her. "You're a good girl!"

I watched Catherine walk away with Julia then I looked at Grissom.

"I have a meeting." He said

"Okay."

He smiled again walking out. I sighed looking over at Greg then at Catherine who was changing Julia on the coffee table.

Russell smiled as Greg made a sound as he furiously scrubbed his shirt.

"Sara, you can work with me."

"You got it."

I walked out looking in at Catherine holding the baby walking over to Greg. At break time I walked over to Catherine's open door seeing her hard at work at her desk. She smiled at me as I walked in looking around for the baby.

"She's behind here." She said

I walked over seeing her in her car seat sleeping.

"Is she giving you much trouble?" I asked

"None."

I nodded seeing her moving. I picked her up and she seemed to calm down laying her head on my chest sleeping.

I sat in a chair in front of Catherine's desk.

"She is a quiet baby." Catherine said

"I know, it surprises me. She takes after Grissom."

Catherine smiled nodding.

I walked over to Grissom's office knocking opening the door seeing him on the phone. He looked at me then at his papers on his desk.

"I want to meet him at three tomorrow." He said "Okay."

He hung up looking at me.

"Are you going to eat?" He asked

"Eventually." I said

He let me hand him the baby. She moved upset laying her head on his chest. He rubbed her back gently.

I sat down in a chair tired.

"You should eat. I can take her back to Catherine."

"Okay." I said, standing going out.

Grissom kissed her head.

When shift was over I went to Catherine's door seeing that it was locked. Grissom's door was locked. I walked pulled out my phone when I heard a baby cry. I walked around the corner seeing Grissom holding the baby car seat talking to a lab worker in the hallway. I walked over leaning down taking Julia. Grissom looked at me then at the worker. I took the car seat walking to Grissom's door. The baby was grunting meaning she was trying to poop. I looked over not seeing Grissom then I looked at Julia.

"Please don't poop on mommy." I said

She grunted again looking at me trying to concentrate. Grissom walked over with his keys out.

"She's trying to poop." I said

"Her bag is inside." He said, unlocking his door.

I walked in before him hearing the unmistakable sound of poop.

"Did you just poop?" I asked

Grissom got in the bag setting down a changing mat on his desk. I set her down undoing her clothes. I opened up the diaper causing Grissom and I to back up.

"Wow!" I said

"Want me to do it?" He asked

"Yeah." I said

I moved away letting him take over. He had her new diaper on holding her in a few seconds. I threw away the soiled diaper then came back into his office.

We walked out together when the hallway exploded sending us flying backwards. The sprinklers went off and the alarm went off. I slowly moved feeling hot debris all around. I coughed feeling my body hurt.

"Grissom?" I called, slowly getting up. Water drenched me as I looked around the smoky hallway. "Grissom!"

I coughed feeling my head explode. I blinked seeing faint images of people coming my way.

"Sara!" Warrick yelled

"Help me!" I cried

He came over with Nick helping me to stand.

"Are you okay?" He asked

"Grissom and the baby!" I said, holding my head.

Nick looked around seeing something.

"I found Grissom!" Nick said

Warrick helped me over seeing him lying on his back.

"Hey man!" Nick said, touching Grissom's neck. "He's hurt!"

"Julia!" I said

Nick moved things around then he stood looking to the right.

"Listen!" He said

Warrick and I listened hearing a faint cry.

"Over here!" Nick said.

They both ran over taking debris away to see Julia lying on her back singed, but okay. Warrick picked her up walking over to me.

"She's okay, but we should get you both checked out."

"I'll stay with Grissom." Nick said

I reluctantly left with Warrick. The firetrucks and ambulances came quickly. I was taken to one and the baby was being worked on beside me. My head was stitched and then I got up walking to where the baby was.

"How is she?"

"Fine." The paramedic said "Someone was looking out for her."

I nodded looking over seeing a stretcher being wheeled out with Grissom on it. I ran over frightened seeing blood on his chest.

"Is he okay?!" I cried

"Stand back!"

I was pushed back as they loaded him into the back. I started to cry shaking as I watched them work on him shutting the door leaving. An arm went around me. I felt myself start to fall only to have the same person hold me against them telling me it was going to be okay. I moved looking at Julia being held by a paramedic wrapped up with a blanket.

I was overwhelmed with everything. Russell was talking to me, but I just could not comprehend it. He took Julia from the man holding her then he came back to me. I put my hand to my head grabbing my hair as he talked to me again. Closing my eyes everything swirled around.

Suddenly, I started to scream. Someone pulled me away to a tree on the left. I was shaken and told to stop. I sobbed against them pounding my fist on their chest. Julia was taken away as I was held.

Russell took me to the hospital. I sat staring at the floor in a chair in a hallway as Russell talked to a doctor. He and the man walked over to me.

"Sara?" Russell called out, gently.

His hand went to my shoulder and I looked up at him.

"The doctor just told me that Grissom had a heart attack. He's in stable condition."

"Heart attack?" I said

"Yes, but he's going to be fine."

"He needs his rest. You can come see him later." The doctor said

I looked back down to the floor. Russell took me home leading me to the house.

I stopped as he unlocked my door.

"Where's Julia?"

"Catherine has her." Russell said

"Oh." I said

He opened the door allowing me inside. I walked in stopping looking around.

"Why don't you go to bed?"

"I'm….not tired." I said

He closed the door walking over hugging me.

"He's going to be okay."

"How do you know?" I asked

"He is strong." He said

I nodded as I laid my cheek on his coat. He looked over moving me back.

"Why don't you lay down on the couch?"

I nodded letting him lead me to the couch. I laid back feeling the throw come over me. He sighed standing looking around.

"Want something to eat?"

"No."

"Okay."

I sat up seeing panicked.

"Where's the baby?!"

"Remember, I told you she was with Catherine?" He said, sitting on the coffee table.

"I want to see her!"

"You will." He said, lying me back down.

"Where is Catherine?!"

"She is home."

"I want Julia with me."

"Sara, it's okay." He said

"I need her here!"

"Just relax."

I looked at him scared. He touched my hand.

"She is safe." He said "Do you have some pills to sleep?"

"I don't want to sleep."

"You need to rest." He said, standing.

I watched him go into the bedroom then he came back out with two pills in his hand. He went to the kitchen coming back with a small water bottle. He opened the bottle then sat down again holding out the pills and water.

I sat up again looking at them then at him.

"Take them." He said

I slowly took the pills putting them in my mouth. I swallowed the water feeling the bitterness of the pills going down. I laid back looking at him.

"Will you look after my baby?"

"I promise I will check on her."

"Is she all right?"

"Yes."

"What if something happens to Grissom?!"

"I will take care of that to."

"What if he dies?" I said, my voice cracking.

"Sara, don't worry." He said, rubbing my hand.

I felt tears go down my cheeks as he moved over holding me against him.

"You don't need to think about this right now. Everything is going to be all right."

I clutched at his coat burying my head in his chest. He smoothed my hair letting me cry.

Hours later Catherine opened her front door seeing Russell looking exhausted. She let him in as she held a sleeping Julia in her arms.

"How's Sara?" She asked

"A mess. She's sleeping." He said, looking at the baby. "How is Julia?"

"I finally got her to sleep. She's been screaming for the last few hours." She said, quietly walking past him to her living room. He followed seeing she had bought some baby supplies still in bags in the hallway leading to the living room.

"Do you mind keeping her for a few more days?"

"No." Catherine said

"Good, I don't think Sara needs this right now."

"How's Grissom?"

Russell rubbed his head.

"I lied to Sara."

"What do you mean?"

He looked at Catherine.

"Grissom had a heart attack." He said "I told her he would be fine, but the doctor said he would be in critical condition for some time."

"We have to tell her." Catherine said

"Cath, you should have seen her earlier. I don't think she understands right now."

"Then you were right to keep it to yourself, but eventually we will need to tell her."

"Your right. I told the doctor to call me if there is any change." He said

"Go home to bed."

"Yeah." He said

She walked to the door letting him out then she closed it sighing looking down at Julia's head against her chest.

I moved on the couch faintly hearing the front door closing. The person whistled walking in to the living room. I felt a hand touching my head then walking away. I wanted to open my eyes, but they would not open.

I smelled food and then I heard someone coming over to me again. A clearing of a throat told me they were next to me.

"Sara?" Russell called out, touching my hand on my stomach.

I breathed slowly as he smoothed back my hair.

"Sara, can you hear me?"

I moved my head moaning facing him. He watched me slowly open my eyes closing them losing the fight to open them.

"Hey, I have some food for you to eat."

I tried again opening them a little seeing his coat.

"Sara?"

"Where….am I?" I asked

"Your house."

I blinked looking at his coat.

"Hungry?"

"I…don't know." I said "Where….is….Grissom?"

"He's at the hospital."

I looked at his face remembering. He jumped when I sat up breathing in and out fast.

"Sara, calm down." He said

"I…need Grissom!"

"Okay, we will go see him, but first you need food."

I looked at him then I looked behind him.

"Julia?"

"She's fine. I checked in on Catherine."

"I want my baby!" I said

"I understand, but right now you need to take care of yourself."

I was helped up and taken to the island. He set a plate of food down in front to me. I stared at it feeling lost. He sat down beside me picking up the fork lifting it to my lips. I stared at the piece of egg on the fork then at him.

"Open up."

I looked at the fork again slowly opening my mouth. He smiled as I swallowed then he got some more. I went to the hospital with him walking down the hallway. Russell saw the doctor leaving me to talk to him. I looked around waiting. Russell came back looking grim.

"Sara, we can see him now."

I nodded walking with him to a door on the right. He opened the door allowing me inside. I stopped just inside seeing Grissom lying on a bed hooked up to machines looking white. Russell pushed me in as he shut the door. I slowly walked over shaking as I touched his warm hand.

"Sara, the doctor said that Grissom is not doing so well." He said, walking over to me. "He said…..he might not make it."

I lifted up Grissom's limp hand kissing it. Russell touched my back. I set his hand back down moving closer leaning over kissing his head. Closing my eyes I laid my head against his chest.

Russell looked down as I did this.

Catherine was in her office mid shift when I came into to see her. She hugged me as I numbly hugged her back. She lifted Julia from her new car seat letting me hold her. I kissed her head crying as Catherine rubbed my arm. I sat down in a chair holding my baby.

I went back alone to the hospital sitting next to Grissom's bed rubbing his hand. Shift started and I went to work. I did this for a week even taking Julia home.

I was getting ready for shift on the Monday after when someone knocked. I ran over opening the door seeing Jim Brass in his work clothes looking at me.

"Jim?" I said

"Hey, can I come in?"

I nodded letting him inside. He turned looking at me.

"You look terrible." He said

I looked down at myself then at him.

"When was the last time you slept, or ate?"

I shook my head feeling tears come down my cheek.

He reached over touching my cheek.

"Honey, you are not taking care of yourself."

"I….have a lot to do."

"You can request time off."

"No, I need to work." I said, wiping my cheek.

He came closer looking at me concerned.

"Jim, I….feel…." I said, starting to.

He pulled me against him rubbing my back.

"You're not going to last long." He said

The baby started to cry as I moved back going past him to the room. I held the baby as she screamed. Brass walked in seeing that I was struggling.

"Let me." He said

I let him have her and she immediately stopped.

"That's better." He said

"How….did you do that?" I asked

"Kids like me." He said

He walked around with her. My phone went off and I answered it.

"Grissom?" I said

Brass looked at me as I listened.

"What?" I asked, putting my hand to my mouth.

"What is it?" Brass asked

I hung up the phone holding it as I looked at the floor.

"Sara?"

"That….was the hospital…..they said Grissom is in a coma."

I threw down my phone running from the room. Brass put the baby down in the crib then he came to the bedroom seeing me on the floor next to the bed with my head against it. He knelt down touching my arm. I looked at him scared then I moved feeling him hold me.

He sat down beside me pulling me against him. He called in to Russell then he called the station telling them he was going to be late. We sat on the couch talking. He then held me as I cried eventually sleeping with my head against his chest. Catherine opened the door sometime later walking into the living room seeing Brass sleeping with his feet up on the coffee table with me still sleeping against him. She walked over tapping him making him wake up seeing her.

"Hey, I came to get Julia." She whispered

"Okay." He said, moving slowly to get up. I laid down facing the couch as he walked with Catherine to the baby's room.

Julia was awake squirming around in the crib.

"Smells like someone needs a change." Catherine said, picking her up.

Brass wrinkled his nose making her chuckle.

"I never had to deal with that." He said

"Want to now?" She asked

"Why not?" He said

Catherine laid her on the changing table undoing her diaper.

"Oh, is that normal?" He asked

"Yes." She said, getting some wipes. "Here you go."

He took the wipes looking at Catherine.

"You better let me."

He handed her the wipes moving back. I came in seeing them. Jim looked at me as Catherine put the new diaper on Julia then lifted her up.

"Hey Sara." Catherine said

"Are you taking her?" I asked

"Yes, if that is okay. Russell asked me to."

"Sara, I think it would be a good thing right now." Jim said

"Okay." I said

I walked out and the two of them looked at each other. Catherine left and Jim walked over to me standing at the door after saying goodbye.

"Sara, I have got to go."

I nodded.

He hugged me then went out leaving me. I looked at the door then I walked to the bedroom. Jim came down the stairs seeing Russell walking over from his car.

"Hey, I saw Catherine go. How's Sara?"

"Not good. I am worried about her."

"I am to." Russell said

I sat on the bed looking at the pile of pills in my hand while holding a glass of water in the other. Closing my eyes I raised my hand up to take the pills when I heard the front door close.

"Sara?" Russell called

I put the pills and water on the night table coming out of the bedroom shutting the door.

"What are you doing here?" I asked

"I got off early to check on you." He said

"Oh."

"How are you?"

"I'm fine."

He nodded looking at me.

"Want to do a take out?"

"I just want to go to bed."

"Okay, I'll stay here."

"I don't need babysat."

"I don't want you to be alone."

"Please leave." I said

"Sara, I am really worried about you." He said, touching my cheek.

"I am tough."

"You're not that strong right now. I see it in your eyes."

"You can stay out here."

"Let me tuck you in."

"No, I can do that." I said

He searched my eyes.

"Sara?"

"I had better go."

I walked to the door shaking some knowing he was watching me. I went in closing the door walking to the bed hearing him open it behind me. He came in staring at me then his eyes went to the pills and glass of water.

"Get out!" I shouted

"Sara, no!" He said

"Leave!"

He walked up to me as I backed up.

"You're going to….!"

"I don't want you here!" I said, my voice cracking.

He didn't know what to say. I shook feeling his hands come to my arms.

"Sara, please listen to me….I."

"I….thought about this….already."

"No you haven't." He said "Do you think Grissom would want this?"

"Grissom is in a coma!"

"Honey, you are not thinking straight."

I swallowed shaking violently.

"I…can't do this…if he dies….I can't."

"I am not leaving you."

I felt him pull me to him, than nothing. Hours later I moved on a bed.

"She's waking up." Someone said

I opened my eyes seeing a white hospital room with Catherine and Russell standing by the bed.

"Hey Sara." Catherine said

"Hospital?" I asked

"I brought you here." Russell said

I swallowed looking at them.

"I brought Julia." Catherine said, lifting up the car seat showing me a sleeping baby.

I just stared at her then at Catherine.

"Will you take her?" I asked

"I'll watch her." Catherine said

"No, keep her."

Catherine looked at me then at Russell.

"Sara, you are getting out of here." She said

"I want you to keep her." I said

Russell took my hand.

"You are going to be fine." He said

"I will watch her for a few days." Catherine said

Russell let my hand go whispering to Catherine who nodded. She waved at me leaving. Russell sat on the bed rubbing my hand. I slept for days trying to escape reality. Russell stood watch a few times looking out the window thinking.

"Mr. Russell?"

Russell turned seeing the doctor that was taking care of Grissom. He walked over to the older man feeling his heart race.

The doctor opened the door to Grissom's room seeing the man on the bed looking at him.

"Gil, it's so good to see you!" Russell said, running over to the bed.

"He is still weak." The doctor said, as he walked over.

"Sara, where is Sara?" Grissom asked

"She's in a room below you."

Grissom looked at him alarmed.

"What happened?"

Russell took a deep breath telling him.

The next evening Russell wheeled Grissom into my room.

"She's been sleeping for days." Russell said

Grissom looked me over as he came beside the bed.

"She's so pale." He said

His hand came to mine.

"Can I be alone with her?"

"Of course."

Russell walked out as Grissom slowly stood up leaning over me kissing my pale lips then he smoothed his freshly shaved cheek against mine.

"Sara." He said

"Mmm." I moaned, moving my head. He kissed my lips again then my head.

"Honey, wake up."

I moved my head to the side. He smoothed back my hair pushing his lips into my head.

"Mmm." I moaned again

"It's Grissom, honey."

I slowly opened my heavy eyelids seeing his face.

"Hey." He said "I'm back."

"Grissom?" I said

He smiled faintly still smoothing my hair back.

"Are you real?" I asked

"Very."

I blinked opening my eyes fully.

"Never leave me." I said

"I will never leave you again."

I touched his cheek searching his face as he searched mine.

He kissed me gently then he sighed watching me as I caressed his cheek. Both of us were discharged a week later. Grissom sat on the couch as I walked over sitting beside him. He took my hand in his looking down at our hands.

"Sara, Russell told me everything."

I looked down as he looked at me.

"He told me about…..the pills."

"I…don't know what to say." I said

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"You had enough going on." I said

"Sara, I love you, and I know I could not live if you did something like that."

I looked at him.

"You weren't here."

"I know, but if you ever feel like that again I want you to tell me."

"I will."

He nodded. I leaned over kissing him. He kissed me then he pushed me back.

"We can't for a while." He said

"I know." I said

He kissed me again then I moved back.

"I love you, Grissom."

He touched my cheek.

"Let's go get Julia."

I smiled nodding.


	4. Chapter 4

"Dada!"

I moved hearing our one year old daughter calling out for Grissom on the baby monitor next to my head.

"Dada!"

I looked over at Grissom. He appeared asleep oblivious to everything around him. I sat up sighing as I put my hand on his shoulder.

"Grissom?"

He moved his head towards me not opening his eyes.

"Grissom!"

He opened his eyes looking at me.

"What's wrong?"

"Listen."

He sat up a little looking around the room.

"Dada!"

"Your daughter wants you." I said

He sat up yawning as I smiled watching him. He turned as he put on his robe.

"You okay?"

I nodded as he walked out. I laid back down looking at the ceiling in the dim light. I smiled hearing him talk to her.

"Let's look at our book." He said

I pictured him sitting in a chair next to the window with her in his lap opening the book he liked to show her.

"What is this?" He asked

I shook my head closing my eyes as he tried again. He came back in yawning getting back in bed. I moved closer to him touching his chest.

"She's to young for those words." I said

"I started saying full sentences at her age."

"You were exceptional. You forget she has my blood inside her as well."

"Honey, you are not dumb." He said, touching my hand.

I sighed looking at his profile.

"I was tested when I was a little girl. They told my mom I had a learning disability."

"Sara, lots of people have learning disabilities. That does not make anyone stupid. They are just as smart as the next person."

"My mom didn't think so. She told me it was my fault."

"I'm sorry."

"I don't want Julia to go through what I did. Bullies and being an outcast."

He pulled me closer to him.

"We will teach her to overcome obstacles and she will be fine. We will love her no matter what."

"I know." I said

He kissed my head closing his eyes. I closed my eyes still thinking about Julia. I moved to my side the next day hearing something beside the bed. I opened my eyes seeing two little eyes looking back at me next to the bed.

I picked Julia up sitting her beside me on the bed. She looked around then she reached over touching my hand.

"Where is dada?"

She pointed to the door then looked at me.

"Julia?" Grissom called, coming into the room seeing us. "You weren't supposed to wake your mother."

I watched him come around the bed and pick her up causing a squeal from her. He kissed her cheek then he looked at me.

"It's okay." I said

"I made us something to eat." He said, walking to the door. Julia laughed against her father as I sat up waking myself up. I got up stopping midway to the bathroom feeling my stomach. I swallowed feeling sick. Grissom came back in not seeing me. He heard the toilet flush then I came out wiping my face.

"Sara?"

"I felt sick." I said

He touched my head not feeling a fever. I looked at him seeing he had an alarmed look on his face.

"Sara, are you sure that you're not….pregnant?"

I put down the cloth in my hand looking at him.

"Pregnant?"

He nodded.

"I can't be."

"Sara, last time did you remember to….?"

I thought about it as he waited.

"I thought I did."

"You were tired."

"Oh no!" I said, walking around him to the bed. I sat down putting my head in my hands. "Grissom, I can't be again."

"We don't know for sure. Why don't you take a test?"

I sat up touching my stomach then I stood looking at him in pain. He hugged me sighing.

"I'll take care of Julia. You call me when the test is over."

"Two kids. I never wanted this."

"I know, and if you are it is not the end of the world."

I nodded letting him go. He left and I went to the bathroom taking the test. I came out to the living room seeing the baby in her playpen in the living room with a bottle between her lips. She stood looking at me with her blue eyes. I smiled at her then I went into the kitchen. Grissom looked at me.

"We have to wait twenty minutes." I said

He nodded putting a plate down in front of me. I ate all the time worrying about the results. Grissom took my hand squeezing it. The time came and I walked into the bathroom while Grissom came in holding Julia. I opened the door walking out with the test. He watched me look at it then at him.

"Well?" He said

"Grissom….I…"

"Pregnant?" He asked

I nodded slowly. He looked at Julia then at me. I sat on the bed holding the test. He sat down beside me.

"It's okay." He said

"No, it's not." I said, looking down.

"Sara, look at Julia."

I looked over seeing her sitting on Grissom's lap reaching a hand out to me. I took her hand watching her.

"She is a beautiful gift. We made her. She gives us joy every day. Another child can do that also."

I sighed looking at him.

"Trust me."

I slowly nodded looking back at Julia. I went to work troubled over this new development. Grissom seemed to except it, but I could not. I tried to work as best as I could then Grissom and I went home. I didn't talk much even after we arrived home. Grissom pulled me to him on the curb giving me a kiss that took my breath away. I moved away from him tingling all over.

"So how do you feel?" He asked, gently.

"I don't know."

He hugged me then took my hand leading me inside. Julia was tucked into her crib sleeping. I looked at her thinking about another baby. She moved moving her lips and I smiled. She was a big part of my life and I could not imagine my life without her.

I came out of her room going into the bedroom seeing Grissom lying on the bed with his work clothes still on sleeping. I walked over crawling over him kissing him. He jumped a little then he put his arms around me.

"Mmm." He moaned

I moved back looking down at him.

"I love you." I said

"I love you to."

"I will go to the doctor's tomorrow."

"Call in. Take the evening off."

"Okay."

I kissed him again feeling him roll me over to my back. When I woke up he was gone. The babysitter was in the living room taking care of the baby. I went to the doctors then I went back home got Julia taking her to the lab. She held my hand as she walked into the building. I saw Catherine and Greg walking towards us.

"Baby in the house!" Greg shouted, running over tossing Julia up in his arms making her laugh.

"How are you doing?" Catherine asked

"Good." I said, watching Greg toss Julia up again. "Is Grissom in his office?"

"I think so." She said

"Hey." Russell said, walking over.

He took Julia from Greg holding her up in his hands looking up at her. She moved her arms and legs screaming. He laughed lowering her against him.

"She really is getting big." He said

"I know." I said

Julia hit Russell in the mouth laughing as he made a sound against her hand.

"I guess I should go to see Grissom." I said

"I'll walk with you." Russell said

We walked to Grissom's office.

"Sara, how are you feeling these days?" He asked

"Great." I said

"If you ever want to talk my door is always open."

"Thank you." I said, taking Julia from him. He nodded waving bye to Julia before walking away. I opened the door seeing Grissom at his desk working. He sat back looking at us.

"Hey."

"Hello." I said, setting Julia down on the floor. She stood on her own looking around. He looked at me as I looked at him. "I went to the doctors and he confirmed my pregnancy."

Grissom nodded.

"It will be okay." He said

I nodded scratching my head. Julia walked behind Grissoms desk seeing him. He reached down picking her up to sit on his lap.

"What are you doing this afternoon?" He asked

"I need to clean the house."

He nodded watching Julia grab his pen off his desk. He took it making her cry out. He held it as she touched it.

"Sara, we should think about maybe moving to a three bedroomed house."

"Can we decide that later?" I asked

"Yes, I just wanted to bring it up."

I rubbed my head as he looked at Julia.

Later Grissom came home hearing the baby screaming in the living room. He walked in seeing her standing in the middle of the room as I sat at the desk working on the computer.

"Sara, what is going on?"

I looked at him.

"Julia had a temper tantrum and I am waiting till it's over."

Grissom picked Julia up rubbing her back as he looked at me.

"Can you get her to be quiet?" I asked

He kissed Julia's head walking to her bedroom. I rubbed my head grateful for the quiet. He came back out holding a happy baby. He put her in the playpen then walked over to me.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I just have a headache." I said, getting up. He pulled me to him.

"Sara, what is going on?"

"Nothing!" I said, moving past him to the kitchen. He came in watching me check on dinner in the oven.

"Something is. You're never mean to Julia."

"Nothing, means nothing, okay!" I said

He just stared at me as I leaned against the counter looking at him. I walked past him to the living room seeing Julia reaching down trying to get her stuffed teddy bear off the floor where she dropped it. Grissom came out watching me ignore her and walk into the bedroom slamming the door.

"Dada."

Grissom picked up the teddy bear giving it to Julia. He knelt down touching her curled hair then he looked back at the bedroom door. Grissom came in seeing me folding clothes on the bed.

"You can't pick up after yourself?!" I shouted

He walked over taking the shirt I had putting it on the bed before pulling me to face him.

"Sara, you are out of sorts. I want to know why?"

I hugged him feeling his arms come around me.

"I love you." I said

"I love you to. I am worried about you."

I moved away from him.

"The doctor told me this would happen."

"What?"

"He said this pregnancy would be a tough one."

"Is that what is making you mad?"

"I guess this whole situation is making me mad."

"I am here if you want to talk."

I looked at him grateful.

"I am scared."

"Me to. For you."

I hugged him again. He led me out to the living room. I took Julia in my arms holding her against me. We ate then we all went to bed.

I felt the morning sickness hit me hard this time around. Every shift I had to vomit. A few weeks later Grissom saw me talking to Warrick in the breakroom. He walked past glancing in at us. I leaned against the round table catching his full attention. Warrick touched my arm, but I waved him off.

"Sara, what's wrong?" Grissom asked

I looked over at him blinking seeing three of him.

"You okay, girl?" Warrick asked

"Yeah." I said, touching my head with a hand. Warrick touched my arm again as Grissom walked over. I stood back up straight and took a breath. Grissom looked at me with concern as Warrick looked at him.

"You're sure?" He asked

"Yes, I am okay." I said, nodding to my husband.

He nodded watching me still.

"Let's get back to work." I said

"You got it." Warrick said

I walked out as Grissom watched me go then he looked at Warrick.

"Watch her."

"Okay."

Warrick followed me out.

Shift ended without an incident and Grissom came out of his office not seeing me waiting. He took out his phone dialing my number.

"Grissom." I answered

"Where are you?" He asked, walking down the hallway.

"I am laying down."

"Where?"

"In the room with the bunks."

"I'll be right there." He said, turning around walking the other way. He opened the darkened room looking around.

"Grissom?" I called out

"It's me. Where are you?"

"Last bunk."

He walked over sitting down on the bunk next to mine.

"Honey, what's wrong?"

I looked at him touching my stomach.

"I felt so dizzy."

His hand went to my hair moving it back.

"Grissom, I don't know if I can do this."

He kissed my head.

"I am with you. We can do this."

I nodded looking at him.

"What are you hoping for?" He asked

"I don't know. If it's a boy we can name him after you."

"I don't want a boy. I think I want another girl."

"Really?" I asked, smiling a little.

"Yes."

"Then I will hope for a boy."

"Okay."

We went home and I went straight to bed. I woke up the next day clammy. After taking a shower I dressed walking out to see the babysitter holding a messy Julia walking to her room. I walked in helping clean her up then I kissed her head walking out. Grissom drank some coffee in the kitchen seeing me come in. I got some water drinking it then I looked at him.

"Hey." He said

I walked over kissing him slowly. He put his cup down moving his arms around my back. His lips moved over mine slowly. I moved back resting my head against his.

I lifted my head looking into his eyes. He searched mine leaning in catching my lips again. I put my arms around his neck giving him a kiss he would never forget. He deepened it and I moaned feeling his hand slide down my back. He moved his lips off my mouth to my neck as I breathed in and out deeply. We heard Julia and the babysitter talking. He stopped breathing on my neck.

I moved back looking at him then I walked out. We both went our separate ways at work. I came out of the bathroom sweating later. I grabbed the wall hearing the door close behind me. The walk to the breakroom was to far at this point so I slid down the wall to the floor holding my head.

Sophia Curtis was walking over with a paper in her hand. She knelt down touching my arm.

"You okay?"

I looked at her seeing she was truly concerned.

"I just need….a minute."

"I can get Grissom."

"No, don't worry him." I said

She watched me close my eyes laying my head against the wall.

"Is it the baby?" She asked

"How do you know about that?" I asked, looking at her.

"Everyone does."

"Yes, it is the baby." I said

She looked over to my left seeing Nick walk over.

"Everything okay?"

"Yeah." I said

He stayed where he was as Sophia stood looking down at me.

"Do you need help?" He asked

I looked at both of them.

"Can you help me to the breakroom?"

"Sure." He said

I relied on them to help me up. By the time we got there I was exhausted. I laid down on the couch as they left me. Grissom was coming back from a meeting when he saw Nick walking by.

"Hey, just so you know. Sara is sleeping in the breakroom. She was sick."

"Thanks." Grissom said, before looking at his watch.

He walked to the breakroom seeing that I was lying down. He texted Russell then he came in waking me. I went to his office with his help lying down on his couch in his office. He sat down at his desk looking at me worried then he went back to work. Half an hour later I slowly sat up touching my stomach.

"I don't feel good." I said

Grissom stood watching me rush out to the corner bathroom. I threw up then I washed my face coming out. Grissom stood waiting.

I stepped out looking white as a sheet.

"That…was….not good." I said, swaying some before falling. Grissom caught me watching as I went completely limp with my head hanging back. He called an ambulance helping him load me onto the stretcher.

He took my limp hand in the ambulance as they raced to the hospital. The doctor walked into the room I was in seeing Grissom stand from the chair beside the bed.

"Your wife is anemic."

Grissom nodded.

"What about the baby?"

"The baby seems fine. She will need to stay here for a few days."

"Thank you."

The doctor nodded before leaving. Grissom sat back down rubbing my hand. Grissom was not there when I woke up. I looked around the room then I looked at the IV in my hand.

I went to sleep again feeling someone kiss my head.

"Whose there?" I asked, not opening my eyes.

"Me." He said

"Me who?"

"Open your eyes and find out."

"There to heavy."

"That's a problem. I brought you something."

I moved my head a little.

"What?"

"I can't tell you."

I frowned keeping my eyes closed. He kissed my cheek gently.

"Whose there?" I asked, again.

He chuckled smoothing his cheek against mine.

"Your husband."

"I don't have…a husband."

"That's not true." He said

"I'm tired."

"Don't go to sleep. I want you to open your eyes and see something."

I slowly opened my eyes seeing him holding a brown bag.

"What is it?"

"Food."

"You smuggled food in here?"

"Yes." He said, opening the bag showing me an egg salad sandwich from the place I like. "This is to cheer you up."

I watched him unwrap it then he held it out for me. I took it eating slowly as he ate the other half.

"I see why you like this." He said

I stopped eating thinking.

"Grissom, is the baby okay?"

"Yes."

"What about Julia?"

"Catherine has her."

He took my hand motioning me to eat more. I chewed looking at him. After we ate he climbed onto the bed lying beside me. I went to sleep as he held me. He woke seeing a nurse leave the room. I was still sleeping against him. He looked at the heart monitor listening to it closing his eyes again.

He woke again later feeling me moving then stilling. He looked over seeing it was daytime outside. His beeper went off and he grabbed it looking seeing Catherine's number.

He grabbed his phone texting her. I moaned moving again making him loosen his grip on me. He kissed my head as I moved.

I leaned over the side of the bed throwing up causing him to get off the bed touching me. The nurse came in seeing the mess as I continued to vomit then I fell back on the bed causing alarms to go off. Grissom stood back watching the doctor rush in.

"Her blood pressure is to low!" The nurse said

The doctor checked my eyes then he had one of the nurses take Grissom out. Grissom waited outside for a while stricken. He paced waiting stopping when the door opened seeing the doctor.

"What happened?" Grissom asked

"Her blood pressure went down to a dangerous level. We got it back up."

Grissom sighed relieved.

"She is asking for you."

"How is the baby?"

"Still alive. We did an ultra sound and she is having twins."

Grissom looked at him in shock.

"Twins?"

"Yes."

Grissom looked at the door as the doctor left him. He swallowed shaking his head then he walked in seeing that I was sitting up looking at him.

"Grissom." I said, weakly.

He kissed me.

"Sara, I love you so much."

I closed my eyes slowly then opened them.

"Is the baby okay?"

He touched my cheek.

"Babies, and their fine."

"Babies?"

"Yes."

"I am having twins?"

He nodded.

"We'll need four bedrooms."

He chuckled searching my eyes.

Within a week I was out of the hospital and feeling better. My stomach started to change and I was aware of the two babies inside of me. Four months went by and it was time to know the sex of the babies. Grissom had a mandatory meeting during that time. I raced into the lab finding him in the hallway talking to Brass. Jim waved at me before leaving. Grissom turned looking me up and down seeing that I was nervous.

"Well what are we having?"

I took his arm dragging him to his office. We went in and I closed to the door behind him. I pushed him to the couch straddling his legs. He watched me lean over kissing him. I let him feel my passion. He pulled me closer. I drew back breathing fast undoing his pants.

"Sara, this…is my office." He said

I didn't say a thing determined to have my way. Minutes later he and I breathed fast looking at each other. I looked down at him. He got control of himself as I got off him sitting on the other end of the couch. He fixed his pants standing then he looked at me.

"I take it you got what you wanted at the doctors."

"I got what I wanted here." I said, getting up kissing him gently then I looked at him.

"What are we having?" He asked

"We are having….a boy." I said

"Great! What about the other?"

"Before I say it you won't be disappointed?"

"It's a boy?"

I smiled at him.

"It's a girl."

"I will never be disappointed." He said "I am excited."

"Me to."

He hugged me kissing my neck.

"I have to go." I said

"Okay."

I smiled at him before leaving.

As the weeks went by I had double the cravings. Grissom had a hard time keeping up. My stomach grew bigger and so did Julia. We told her about the news and she just looked at us. I hoped she would be happy to have some playmates.

My ninth month came and it was very uncomfortable. I was huge by then unable to work. Grissom came home one night seeing Julia still up walking around with her teddy bear. She ran over to him.

"Hey, what are you doing up?" He asked, picking her up.

"Mama." She said

"Where is your mama?" He asked, walking into the bedroom. I was coming out in pajamas seeing him.

"Hey."

"How are you feeling?" He asked

"Fat." I said, looking at Julia.

"You are not fat." Grissom said "Is mama fat?"

Julia shook her head.

"Thank you. I was just about to put her down."

"I'll do it."

I nodded before kissing her goodnight. Grissom disappeared and I walked getting the phone ordering take out. Grissom came out seeing me on the couch.

"She went right to sleep." He said

"I ordered take out."

"Good."

I watched him go to the bedroom then I watched TV. He came out of the bedroom in his pajamas. He sat down beside me touching my belly.

"They're both moving around." He said

"I know." I said

The take out arrived and we ate. Grissom and I went to sleep on the couch. Grissom moved as I moved sitting up touching my stomach breathing fast.

"Sara?" Grissom said

I didn't answer as another sharp pain began. He instantly went into action calling Catherine then an ambulance. Catherine raced over as the ambulance came. I screamed on the stretcher as Grissom held my hand in the back. The paramedic touched my stomach hitting the wall. The ambulance pulled over.

"What's happening?!" Grissom shouted

"Please move!" The guy said beside him. Grissom moved so he could get passed then he sat back down as I screamed again. "The babies are coming now!"

"What?!" Grissom said

"Okay, Sara I need you to push!"

I sat up pushing then I laid back. Grissom watched me scared. I pushed again falling back as the paramedic worked. He wrapped something in a blanket handing the other man the bundle. Grissom watched them work cutting a cord then the bundle was given to him. He looked down seeing a little baby in the blanket.

"It's a boy." The paramedic said

I looked at the baby as Grissom showed him to me. Then the pain started again and I screamed. The second baby came out and soon we were on our way again. Grissom watched me look on either side at the babies. I looked at Grissom seeing tears in his eyes as he looked at them.

When we got there I was put into a room and the babies were brought in later. Grissom held them both as I woke up later watching him look at them. He saw me looking at him then he brought them over setting little Gil in my arms.

"I am very proud of you." He said

I smiled at him then I looked down at my baby.

"Hello Gil." I said

Grissom looked at his new daughter then at his son.

"Since he is Gil, let's name her Sara." He said

I nodded looking at her. Grissom leaned down kissing me. I kissed him then sighed happy that I had a family and a wonderful husband.


End file.
